[Chris V]

Being terrified & feeling terrified are 2 different hings. Why be terrified if there's nothing imminent to be terrified about?

[Squatbetty]

Hi Chris V

I don't really understand what you're getting at. The definition of a phobia is an irrational fear of something.

I have always suffered from arachnophobia when I know that the worst a house spider could do to me is tickle me to death with its big, hairy legs <shudder>. Despite knowing this I can't stop my irrational fear whenever I see one.

If it was as simple as just not being frightened this website wouldn't need to exist.

[Brian Lamb]

Your fear of spiders will be related to some past experience you might of had or your observation of someone elses fear of them, like one of your parents or possibly you were 'taught' to fear them because of what harm they could cause.

I invite you to do some EFT on yourself while focusing, with your mind, on that image of the spider that brings a 'shudder' to you. I will e-mail some info to you to try this at home and let us know the results.

Cheers
Brian

[Squatbetty]

Hi Brian

Thanks for your reply and email.

I appreciate that you're trying to help but I was using the spider example just to illustrate what I was trying to say as I was a bit puzzled by ChrisV's post - it seemed a bit random & was over simplifying a very complex problem. The problem being that phobias are an irrational fear - we know that we shouldn't be scared but that we are anyway. I do have arachnophobia but it doesn't control my life. To be honest I'm not sure that all anxieties/phobias are learnt, I think some could be innate. No one in my family has a phobia of spiders so I don't see where I can have learnt to fear them. Just as some research points towards certain people being born with a tendancy to be more anxious or worriers, I believe some people are more predisposed from birth to suffer from certain phobias. That's just my opinion though. I've added an article about this to the news section as I think it's quite interesting.

Squatbetty

[Kathryn Murphy]

Hi people. I am feeling a bit better than this time last weekend.

Picked the phone up and rang my dad- spoke to him about some stuff, ( even had a laugh about things - which all in all made me feel better ) My sister had just wound me up!!!!!

Anyway, partner said some horrible stuff which dived me back in my whole- didnt want to move feeling worthless/wanted to chuck an entire box of lax down my throat just so I could feel clean again. I have a fear that I will end up fat. I have a fear that no one will ever find me attractive. i have a fear of being used again , I am fearful that othere watch me ( in disgust , or laugh at me) I fear that I hurt others. I cant get my head around things as I have som many anxts which are so difficult to live with, that I cant work oout what is going on. I know my relationship is over, but I am scared to do anything about him liveing here, as I am basically scared of him/ I cant think of a worse reason as to why I would live with someone- but there doesnt seem to be quick fix- I wish that he woudl hurt me again so that I could ring the police. I cant handle the switches

Sorry, you folks dont know me, and I am venting here- but if I were to tell family memebers how i truly feel I worry that they would feel sorry for me, or I worry that it will hurt them or ( like now I worry that they will be upset that I have not gone to them for help) .

On the basics, on the surface I have basic fears, I hate been in confined spaces where there are loads of people/ ( Ive been know to hyperventilate and just feel crushed. i also hate spinning doors. Cant go in them ( not unless I am made to- i have these images of limbs getting twisted and so forth) My other fear is getting on an escalator- i do this, but I always pause at the top/stand at the top and try to get my foot on the we step- this fear has grown since my daughter did the same thing as me as a child. She fell down them.

On the up side , I know I can tackle my fears. For years and years I was crab aphobic- I would not go onto a beach dure to this fear. My eldest sister lied to me this year about crabs being present on the beach. So there I was ( half blind , dangling and paddling in the sea- with crabs floating around( Luckily I didnt know they were there , bas I cant see very well. but now I know I can go on a beach and I want get nipped) So I am perfectly aware that I can get better- there just seems to be so much fog.

Thank you to anyone who listens to this rant- it helps me . Now I feel I can get on with my house chores and do the necessary , instead of hanging around in my pyjamas. Sorry for the waffle- I needed an outlet

[Kathryn Murphy]

hey, I know what Chris is trying to say and I understand everyones point. When I was a student, living alone in a bedsit, I was stalked for what seemed a very long period of time. I was terrifed. Slep with knives under my pillow- couldnt sleep for feeling scared. I was followed day and night ( I think - cant be sure) Just think I was due to the facts that this person would beang on my window as soon as I was home. Hed always do it when it was dark, I have bad eyesight and could never get a good look.

It got to a stage where I was too scared to leave that horrible skanky room. ( And pls beleieve me it was disgusting) I was paying this awful landlord too much money to sleep on something that you couldnt even describe as a bed.

The drains stank too. that smell always brings it back.

It is ten years on since, something worse happened. I did contact the police. They were useless. In the end I moved out, and in with a friend.

Each time, around Atumn to X mas I re live the whole thing. But wiith my difficulties at home just now( it seems worse than ever ) Ive spoken to many people about it. the fear does not go away. Id rather not go outside.

I dont think I am attractive, more the opposite. I think I loook feeble making me more vulnerable to people who have something wrong with them. Sometimes I get angry/cant eat/cant sleep /cant do anything.

When I felt close to my partner, I was much better. I did think about it, I did go back. I tried to discuss things with him .. But now he has used it almost as a mechanism to get at me. It make s me feel so sick. Anyway, thats the bulk of my story.

I know people who have ben through so much worse, but I cant escape it. What is wrong with me? Am I going crazy?