[alieliz]

Hi there everyone.

I also suffer from the "fear of death" phobia. It has been an issue for me for as long as I can remember (I am 22 now) and it seems to have got a lot worse within the last few years.

I suffer from panic attacks that always seem to happen in bed, while I am trying to get to sleep. My mind always seems to wander onto the subject of death and how it's something that I cant control. I am also extremely scared of the unknown and worry that there will be NOTHING after I die. I think I have got to the stage where I now associate going to bed with this feeling, the feeling is of panic, I usually feel sick and tingly and sometimes want to scream because I am so scared. Most nights I sleep with the TV on because I hate lying in silence because silence allows my mind to wander. I usually have to get to the stage where I am SO tired that I have no choice but to fall aleep with light/TV on 9even if it mean staying up for hours)!

I am not sure what started this phobia as I have not had that many family bereavements throughout my life.

I have read most of the posts on the previous "Fear of Death" thread and I found a lot of them interesting and it is, in a way, comforting to know that a lot of people are going through a similar experience. I knew people were scared of death but I didnt know if it was weird to worry about it to the extent I seem to.

The reason for this thread is because I just wanted to hear any follow ups from the previous posts everyone left on this subject. How is everyone doing and is anyone coping better? It would just be nice to know that I am not going to feel like this forever and that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I do find deep breathing and possitive thinking (e.g. one day I am going to have wonderful children, I have a great boyfriend who loves me, I'm going to travel the world etc) helps me, I try to repeat possitive facts over and over again in my head to stop the panic from setting in. I also find if it gets really bad, a walk or watching TV, reading or having a normal conversation with someone helps (although are not always possible at 3am!).

I have never spoken to anyone about this before (friends, family, partner) and it's nice to actually admit to my feelings as I think I was a little ashamed (which now seems silly after relaising how common this phobia is).

I hope everyone is well and have been able to get on with their lives.

Ali x