[>jessica<]

omg like you it happens to me exactly the same im 17 and have had this for 2 years now....always in bed at night
beacuse of this i hate sleeping on my own, im always asking my friends and little sisters and boyfriend to sleep over...i feel better if i have an attack with someone next to me..being alone makes it worse for me
on my last day of my GCSE exams i had a phone call of my big sister when i was out in my friends house celebrating...she told me my nana(grandmother) was ill and had been rushed into hospital, my aunty picked me up and took me their..i have a large family but i was the only young one their, they told me my nana had a brain hemorage and had only hours to live....my whole world just shatterd i could not belive it at all i would not exept it....from 11 at night till 8 in the morning i stood next to her bed holding her hand watching the heart monitorin machine knowing it was going to stop.....i couldnt help her she was diein in my hands and i could do nothing...nothing...the machine stoped and she lay their dead.....it was the first time i had ever seen a dead person and i tramtised........... 2 days later my other grandmother died of cancer.......i had 2 funerals in one week..........
i was never a religious person...but on my second funeral the preist was young and he got to me....through all my crying somthing clickd...
i then began to belive in god from this day on, i prayed alot since then
but then came along my attacks....id sleep next to my big sister at night then have an attack and jump on herin bed gasping for breath scared.....she got scared by me and didnt know what was wrong with me so i had to sleep on my own as i was scarein her

i thought i was the only person that was going though this ...i tryed explaining what was happening to me but my family and friends just thought i was mad....so i stoped tellign people about it and started to pretned it had stoped but it hasnt x x x x

[race-demon]

just read it again, i had to double check that alieliz wrote it b'cus i honestly thought that id started the thread. we're exactly the same and i can also relate to you jessica about the not wanting to sleep alone (though i just get on with it).

hope other people with the same problems read this and join up to get help, its not the way to be.

also, anyone know why i constantly have 65534 unread mail messeges lol (which arnt there)

[LITTLE LISA]

i too have a major fear of death .. infact my life is all about worrying about dying !! ..
even birthdays etc i think omg im so and so old closer to death ...
its ridiculous i know for someone to understand how i could possibly be so obsessed with it but the fear of it has taken over everything ..
you see people who fear spiders .. can get over it by slowly getting used to them even getting a chance to see them and hold them etc
people with a fear of open spaces .. can also get help with this ..
infact most fears we can overcome because we can face them ..
death however .. its completly different .. i cant ... noone can .. unless we believe in the after life which i so desperetly want to be true .. !!
my whole life is death worrys .. i remember when i was about 8 and i was crying my eyes out knowing one day i was going to die !! ..
when my brother died in 1989 when i was 10 it hit me ..
ever since then well ive been a mess to be honest worry worry worry !! ..

the past 4 years in a row have not helped one bit ..
my nan died december 31st 2006
my other nan died october 1st 2007
i had a ectopic pregnancy 10th may 2008 where i nearly died and lost my right tube !
my grandad died on 20th december 2008


this year ive been thinking my god what next ???? ..

[race-demon]

sorry to hear about that lisa, it seems yo have allot of worries on your mind al the time (well your in the right place then), what id personally reccomend to allot of people is to get a hobby of ANYTHING, matchstick making, model railways, drawing, something to take your mind of worries. if you work 9-5 and your days ful of worries and you have no way to channel them into something productive these sort of problems could be expected (im not saying a hobbie is a cure but sometimes it may just be worth a try yeah?)

ive had my fear of death all my life as ive previously stated in threads, cant see it going anywhere.

purely by your phrase "what next" your holding a negotive thought, you may not even be a negotive person but such thought will nver help you and you could benefit from actually telling yourself this, for every negotive thing that could come up try and think of 1 or more posatives to balance it out, no matter who you are you can always look on something good in your life,its just up to you to realise what it is and not simply say "everything sucks" cus thats just too easy to do.

quick finishing thought is, try to be a little more posotive despite facing adversity, youll feel better for it, you can tell yourself that its not that bad without seeming blasé just be posotive and youll begin to think posotively, all the best demon