[Chris V]

I've just spent ages writing the longest post I've ever written, took ages, I go to post it and I'm disconnected, it didn't post.

[Squatbetty]

That's happened to me a couple of times...very annoying! I always highlight my post and copy it to the clipboard before I press "submit reply" now, just in case there's a problem. Sly!

[Chris V]

I can't write it again now, because I've been out playing snooker & drinking, so I'm a bit tired. I was writing about how either anxiety can destroy you completely (there was a real danger of me drinking myself to death/killing myself), or you can use your inner strength to overcome anxiety, say 'No, you are not going to defeat me, I'm going to live a life', & you come out stronger than if you never had anxiety in the first place.

Luckily for me, I'm looking forward to leading a better life than one in which I never had anxiety in the first place!

It still hurts badly that I had anxiety & I really didn't want to have to find an inner strength that I never knew I had to overcome it, but nothing can change the fact. I went on about the ordeal I suffered, but that's irrevelant now. The only thing I can do is plan for the future, take advantage of opportunities which I never would've done otherwise.

I would've liked to have had a normal life, get married & all that, but I just can't anymore, I've just got to learn a new language, go abroad, stuff like that.

Uh, oh, I'm going on now, it's just that I heard that if you do overcome anxiety you end up stronger than ever, & it's true. But, I still feel terrible now!!

[Squatbetty]

Hi Chris

You CAN still have a normal life. You're young, you are only in your thirties (maybe I consider that young because I'm in my thirties too ). It's never too late to get married if that's what you want.

[Chris V]

Thanks for the reply Squatbetty. Before I had anxiety, I remember that I always wanted to get married. I remember when I was 21-years-old, I found it difficult with women, finding a woman that I could develop a relationship with, maybe get married one day. I spoke to one of my friends about it (I was out for a few beers with him & other friends). I said 'I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life', & he said 'Don't worry, you'll always have mates', & I said 'No, I mean I don't want to not be able to find a woman never to get married to'. He said, pointing to other friends 'Don't worry, you're more likely to get married than the rest of us', & that reassured me.

But, it's different now. I was happy when I was 21-years-old, & it makes me sad that I can't be 21-years-old again.

Anyway, I almost got there with a woman, we had a great relationship for 7 months when I was 21/22 years old. But, it all ended. We had an argument. She threw me out of her flat in Exeter, that was it.

It's not only that I don't want to get married anymore & lead a normal life, it's literally a case that I can't! With the way I suffered anxiety/depression it's impossible. It's either going to eat at me, make me drink to much stay in bed/give up work, or I can go completely the other way, stay single, look for opportunities in working abroad eg. cruise liners. You can do that.

I wanted that when I was 21-years-old, to be like everyone else, but I can't now. I feel terrible.

[susie4uk2008]

going into town and i use to enjoy going out to college.

Susie

[susie4uk2008]

Hi Squatbatty,

i hope I feel calmer and alot better in the new year because i have lost interest in lot of things since i had dizzy spells alot. I feel .sexual dyfuntional and depressed really.

Susie

[race-demon]

merry christmas all (i feel like im gunna have an attack/i feel so dodgy lol)
and happy new year