Jen
17-02-05, 02:51 AM
This is my first time on here and quite intimidating. I feel slightly naked but I guess that's because with a disorder like this you spend so long hiding symptoms from others and putting on a front that to openly admit you have a problem is scary! Anyway this is just a general comment(essay) really. I have experienced general anxiety/social phobia/panic disorder ( according to the conquer anxiety website I have symptoms of all three!!) on and off for about 10 years. I'm 30 now. Sorry if that depressed anyone who has only had it for a short time!
The point I wanted to make and discuss was the fact that my symptons come and go. This is a blessing and a curse. Because when they're gone life is marvelous and confidence grows, but when they return things can be not so great. I believe mine started for a number of reasons, being in a very stressful environment at college as well as not looking after my health. One of the things that has most annoyed me over the years is that I could not find a clear cut reason for this disorder. Because surely if you know why it started you can cure it?? Partly true partly not. I literally started getting obsessive thoughts one night in bed and they would not stop. They were terrifying and this bought on panic attacks. I have never had a proper panic attack since then(touch wood!) but the fear of having one has followed me around for all this time. I have probably never truly relaxed in ten years! Depending on how my life is going depends on how obstructive the anxiety becomes. When feeling good about myself and my life ,in a job that I enjoy it can be almost non existant. Although I have managed to avoid going to my local town centre for almost a year now and will till I feel confident to go there again. So I definitly have avoidance issues! However although looking for advice I would also like to just mention some things that I have realised over the years. I have realised that I control my anxiety. Whether that be by drinking too much the night before, causing low blood sugar the next day that never helps anxious feelings. To drinking too much coffee or sugary things or smoking too many cigarettes which also never help. My health advice about anxiety is the following, give up caffeine, limit alcohol, avoid sugary foods and make sure your blood sugar is well balanced. The symptons of low blood sugar are very similar to that of anxiety ie jittery and nervous. Try to avoid processed foods and definitly do excerscise. However find an excerscice you like. I really like the gym, but at times find a crowded bright busy gym scary. I may fall over make a fool of myself?!!! Etc. So my preferred thing is to run. I love it. Sorting out the physical may not cure you but will go a huge way towards helping the mental feel better. Swimming is also great late at night for relaxing me and also the pool is less busy then; again less chance of choking and making a fool of myself!! Do you see a pattern here? I am by no means trying to write a book here ( you may think otherwise by the hideous length of this) but after ten years you do learn a thing or two about it. Distraction is brilliant. I had a sympton where whenever I would have to sign a cheque or credit card my hand would shake hideously. Even worse if the shop assistant was a gorgeous man, I kid you not. I learnt to overcome this by not looking at my hand when I sign things. Trust me it works. Look away and my hand doesn't shake as my attention is no longer focused on my hand. This may sound like a very minor sympton of anxiety but trust me I was terrified of writing in front of people for ages. I am desperate to sort myself out. I have managed to avoid going to meetings, go for promotions etc for on and off about 8 years. This has completely affected my life at work as I have not furthered my career for fear of having to talk in meetings and make a fool of myself. However the one thing that I have realised is that I control it. When I talk to my friends or family I don't panic. Therefore talking in general is not a panic issue! So I must do something to make myself nervous when I have to talk in front of people I'm not so comfortable with. The problem is what? It is obviously subconscious and that is why when faced with having to introduce myself sitting in a circle to a group of people ( my own personal worst fear) I do something to trigger the sweating palms, tight closed throat and trembling mouth! So if anyone has any advice for me please help, because I am now very very tired of inhibiting my life because of these symptons. It is boring and exhausting thinking all the time about things you used to never even think about doing. So any advice or comments would be most welcome. Many many apologies if I have bored you all to death. But sometimes seeing other people feel the same way as you helps enormously. And also this is quite cathartic!
Cheers
Jen
Many apologies for spelling, very late!
The point I wanted to make and discuss was the fact that my symptons come and go. This is a blessing and a curse. Because when they're gone life is marvelous and confidence grows, but when they return things can be not so great. I believe mine started for a number of reasons, being in a very stressful environment at college as well as not looking after my health. One of the things that has most annoyed me over the years is that I could not find a clear cut reason for this disorder. Because surely if you know why it started you can cure it?? Partly true partly not. I literally started getting obsessive thoughts one night in bed and they would not stop. They were terrifying and this bought on panic attacks. I have never had a proper panic attack since then(touch wood!) but the fear of having one has followed me around for all this time. I have probably never truly relaxed in ten years! Depending on how my life is going depends on how obstructive the anxiety becomes. When feeling good about myself and my life ,in a job that I enjoy it can be almost non existant. Although I have managed to avoid going to my local town centre for almost a year now and will till I feel confident to go there again. So I definitly have avoidance issues! However although looking for advice I would also like to just mention some things that I have realised over the years. I have realised that I control my anxiety. Whether that be by drinking too much the night before, causing low blood sugar the next day that never helps anxious feelings. To drinking too much coffee or sugary things or smoking too many cigarettes which also never help. My health advice about anxiety is the following, give up caffeine, limit alcohol, avoid sugary foods and make sure your blood sugar is well balanced. The symptons of low blood sugar are very similar to that of anxiety ie jittery and nervous. Try to avoid processed foods and definitly do excerscise. However find an excerscice you like. I really like the gym, but at times find a crowded bright busy gym scary. I may fall over make a fool of myself?!!! Etc. So my preferred thing is to run. I love it. Sorting out the physical may not cure you but will go a huge way towards helping the mental feel better. Swimming is also great late at night for relaxing me and also the pool is less busy then; again less chance of choking and making a fool of myself!! Do you see a pattern here? I am by no means trying to write a book here ( you may think otherwise by the hideous length of this) but after ten years you do learn a thing or two about it. Distraction is brilliant. I had a sympton where whenever I would have to sign a cheque or credit card my hand would shake hideously. Even worse if the shop assistant was a gorgeous man, I kid you not. I learnt to overcome this by not looking at my hand when I sign things. Trust me it works. Look away and my hand doesn't shake as my attention is no longer focused on my hand. This may sound like a very minor sympton of anxiety but trust me I was terrified of writing in front of people for ages. I am desperate to sort myself out. I have managed to avoid going to meetings, go for promotions etc for on and off about 8 years. This has completely affected my life at work as I have not furthered my career for fear of having to talk in meetings and make a fool of myself. However the one thing that I have realised is that I control it. When I talk to my friends or family I don't panic. Therefore talking in general is not a panic issue! So I must do something to make myself nervous when I have to talk in front of people I'm not so comfortable with. The problem is what? It is obviously subconscious and that is why when faced with having to introduce myself sitting in a circle to a group of people ( my own personal worst fear) I do something to trigger the sweating palms, tight closed throat and trembling mouth! So if anyone has any advice for me please help, because I am now very very tired of inhibiting my life because of these symptons. It is boring and exhausting thinking all the time about things you used to never even think about doing. So any advice or comments would be most welcome. Many many apologies if I have bored you all to death. But sometimes seeing other people feel the same way as you helps enormously. And also this is quite cathartic!
Cheers
Jen
Many apologies for spelling, very late!
