Do I suffer from anxiety?

Hi everyone, this is the first time I have actually decided to look in to the subject of anxiety with regards to my own situation. I'm a comparatively healthy 25 year old male, and after reading some of the other posts I think that perhaps i may also suffer from some kind of anxiety attacks, although I cant quite be sure as I have spent a great part of my life hiding any nervousness and anxiety from those around me. I've actually become quite good at it as I dont think anyone has ever noticed it, at least noone ever asks.

For as long as i remember I have always been quite nervous about being around people, although if i feel 100% confident in a situation I really can become the life and soul of any party. Yet somehow I cant maintain this in everyday life. I've always found it quite hard to really open up to people and sometimes I feel genuine relief when I set foot back in my house and I dont need to deal with anyone. This is what puzzles me as I do enjoy going out and socialising (as long as i'm cool with the situation)

If I am around a number of people or am in a situation where i feel uncomfortable I get a real nervous sensation building up inside, sometimes i will sweat even if i'm just sitting down, yet when I'm with people I know well, I'm totally fine. Sometimes I'll also get a tremor in certain situations, say i'm holding a cup of coffee i'll be ok. If i'm holding two cups and I got to take them to someone, I'll get a really nervous feeling like everyone is watching me and then i'll start to spill them everywhere.

Reading other comments has been very interesting, obviousley such a condition effects people in different ways and has a different level of effect on each persons lives. On one hand i can be a really social person, yet sometimes i'll almost feel like a hermit and i wont want to deal with anyone.

I know that some people will feel their lives have been destroyed by this kind of thing, and compared to them i dont really have any case to complain about my own situation. I just feel that my life in general is being held back somewhat by my inabilty to get past this. I have done a good job so far of telling myself that I dont need a lot of people in my life, yet i think really its a slight lie. I have a some great friends who would be suprised if they knew how i really feel sometimes, I have never had any trouble with women (just understanding them), often people have remarked that i come across as confident sometimes almost arrogant, yet i feel that maybe this is just the persona I have created, quite succeffully to hide the fact that i'm quite a nervous little soul.

Anyway cheers for your time :wink:

Hey Marc, it sounds like you maybe do suffer from a mild anxiety disorder. It's quite normal to feel a little anxious in social situations with new groups of people, but if the physical/psychological sensations are giving you any cause of concern at all, it's best to tackle the problem sooner rather than later, as things can quickly escalate.

I too love socialising and being out with my friends, but recently my levels of anxiety have got to such an extent that I've had to turn down lots of social engagements, which is very frustrating as I'd love to be out and just enjoying life like everyone else. My friends only believe I have a problem with anxiety/panic when I'm in the midst of a ginormous panic attack. I'm sure, as you were saying, they have little idea that I'm feeling anxious alot of the time. I too have sometimes been accused of being a little aloof and even arrogant when I'm in a social situation, but this is merely my way of protecting myself from showing the anxious state I'm usually in when mixing with large groups of people.

If you do go to the doctor about this, which might not be a bad idea if you feel your anxiety is hindering you getting on with your life in any way, be aware that s/he might well try and put you on some sort of anti-depressant straight away, without really listening to your problems. Anti-depressants have worked miracles for some people, and in my opinion are no bad thing, but if you recognise that your problem is quite mild, maybe some type of cognitive therapy is more appropriate.

Good luck!

Hi, what you have could be named as Social Anxiety.

One thing to not do is to accomodate your anxiety. Then you have just confirmed to yourself that there is something you don't dare, and as long as you are avoiding situations, for that long you know in your concious or subconcious that actually you are doing something you didn't really want to do, ie sit at home in your case, but you ARE doign it because you are accomodating your anxiety. For that amount of time, you have just CONFIRMED that you have this problem, and the longer you stick with confirming, the more your thoughts are busy with this 'issue' that is called anxiety, and the more and longer this takes a role in your live, the MORE you empower it and perpetuate the cycle.

There is no need to wonder about the 2 sides or parts of you. It is very normal that if you feel anxious, which is a response that you triggered, that you feel different about situations, think differently and more importantly, FEEL differently, in this case, you feel less comfortable.

Also it's best to NOT label this part of yourself as negative or unwanted, because then in fact you disapprove of a part of your being, making it an area you want to escape and avoid. This does not help your self-esteem, and it's best to just accept that you have anxiety disorder.

You know you can respond in a pleasant way to situations, and you also know how it feels when you do NOT. There is nothing wrong with you, it is just that you have a tendency to fall into a certain role of behaviour. In fact, anxiety is a behavioural pattern, that you put there yourself, as a programmed response to a certain situation. This behaviour can be unlearnt, and you do so by finding that you percieve a situation a certain way by the way you THINK about it, and then divert your attention away from those thoughts. Diversion is actually THE key to get rid of behaviour, as it gets the focus and attention away, and focuses on NEW and WANTED behaviour.

I found it very peculiar to read your post, as I recognize a lot of elements of your self-analysis, and that also I have social anxiety, and that my age is actually the same by probably a year. Of course I sound a lot wiser, so it must be that I'm a year older than you ;)

Greetings, Peter.

thanks for that peter. you really looked after everyone while i was away

Ah! Were you away? I didn't notice, I just continued "my job" haha.