I posted this on the phobia thread but I saw people were viewing this board right now so I'm hoping someone can give me advice
I'm desperate. I've had arachnophobia ever since I was a young child but it is getting worse now, to the point where I don't want to live anymore because I feel like a disappointment to my family.
I'm so scared of the next time I'll see a spider...I think a spider laid an egg in my car because spiders keep appearing in there and I can't drive it. And when I see one, I panic and my dad gets really frustrated with me. He tells me to just get over it, but I've seeing a psychologist for five years now (for other problems, as well), but I still don't have a solution. I just wish I could normal and just KILL a spider when I see one and not completely freak out. I don't want to be a disappointment to my family anymore. I think my phobia is related to my mom, but I never knew it bothered me so much because I supressed it. But I don't know how knowing that is goign to solve anything. Does anyone have any advice or any similar experiences? Reply to this or private message me. I'm desperate.
Christina Lynn
03-12-06, 04:44 AM
Hey there. I'm sorry to hear you feel like such a dissapointment to you family. I'm also sorry that they don't realize that what you have is a disease, something that isn't easy to control or overcome at all. I don't really have any phobias, but I did have a friend that was terrified of spiders. He would cry and beg me to kill them for him. He would always tell me I saved his life when I would kill one. I was surprised that he was so scared of them because he was a BIG man. Like 6' 200 lbs, big boy!!! I finally got him to kill one himself and he wasn't cured by any means but he was alot better. He realized that he was bigger than them and could CRUSH them. How close are you able to get to one before the fear takes over? Could you use a broom to kill one? Would that give you enough distance? I think if you killed one on your own you would feel like you had a little more control. Not sure if this has or will help at all but I sure hope so. If you need to talk again just e-mail me. cworley@nemr.net
God Bless
rabidbadger
03-12-06, 02:16 PM
Hi Pine
This may sound silly but I used to be scared of spiders and it was my dog that helped me to get over it.
When she was a tiny puppy she would chase spiders and paw at them and eat them and I started to think, 'if this tiny, defenceless little puppy can handle spiders then surely I can'. It was her that helped me to see them for what they are - completely harmless little creatures with scarey looking long legs.
Don't know if this helps but I wish you the best of luck.
Chris x
thank you SO much for responding, guys! i really, really appreciate it.
as far as how close i can get, it depends. my biggest issue right now is the fact that they keep appearing in my car. and when i'm driving and suddenly notice one out of the corner of my eye, i act in very irrational ways. i think that if i were to see one while i was driving on the freeway, i would crash my car and die. when i see spiders in my house, i can't get close to them. i have to watch them from a distance until someone can kill them. and if i go away and then they're gone when i come back, i can't go in that room for weeks.
it makes me feel hopeful hearing that two people were able to get over their fears of spiders. i just wish i knew how.
thank you SO much
Can anyone help? My problem is getting so much worse. I haven't driven my car in a month because of the spiders. I talked to my therapist about how to overcome this, but it seems grim. He says the issue goes much deeper and the phobia of spiders represents a lot of things in life that i've repressed. i asked him how long it would take to solve, and he said it depends on me.
it's so frustrating because sometimes he brings up issues that i don't know are touchy subjects until i completely shut down. and i refuse to talk and get hostile. i don't know why i do this, because a part of me that gets buried inside wants to talk about the issue and resolve them, but the other part won't let me. it took me four years in therapy to finally realize that my mom is disconnected in my life and that it actually bothered me. i had never conciously been aware of it, and whenever my therapist asked about my mom, i got extremely annoyed at him because i felt it was such an insignificant topic and i didn't know what to say about her.
i asked him about how could i calm down and drive my car and he said a rational solution won't fix it because it's not a rational problem or fear. he says the issues go much deeper, but i could rehearse what i would do when i got into my car and saw a spider. however, i tried this and thought i would be completely calm the next time i saw a spider, but then i noticed one out of the corner of my eye while i was driving and completely lost it.
it feel likes no matter how hard i try, or how much i try to fix it, this problem won't go away and it's inhibiting my life and destroying my relationship with my father because he feels frustrated with me. i've dealt with mental issues for so long, and it tends to cycle, so i can understand his disappointment when i start to lose it again.
i also feel like a failure when people ask why i can't just drive my car. they don't understand this fear over a spider, and it kills because i KNOW it's irrational, but i wish spiders didn't exist.
i know it seems like such an insignificant problem, but it's controlling my life, literally.
last time, a couple people responded, but mostly ignored my posts, please please please is there ANYONE with advice!?
