dont know what to do

Hi, not sure where to start, was married for 7 years and a couple of years ago my husband left me, it turned out that he had been having an affair throught the marriage. i wanted children and he said he didnt. i found out that he left me because the other woman was pregnant. early on in our relationship i got pregnant but he made me, yes made me have an abortion because i wasnt strong enough to say no. he used to score me out of 10 in bed which really has affected my look on men, life and sex. ni have a real problem with sex and feel dirty if i get close to anyone. i have a male friend who i have known for 3 years and slept with him after 13 months of knowing him. he is the only one that i have slept with since my ex but he has had a vascetomy which is no good for me because i really want children. we're not in a relationship. i am starting to wake up in the middle of the night because time is ticking on and i want children but dont know how to get over how i feel. i know that my marriage break up is not all down to me, i found photos of my husband and this other woman in a comprimising situation (bedroom wise) with another guy, my ex had bisexual tendencies. i dont know what to do, i dont let anyone get close because i cant be hurt again, have had counselling but it doesnt seem to work....can anyone help me??

i cant believe over 80 people have checked this out and no one has left me any advice or thoughts?????????? where is the human kindness??????

Hi, statistically most people DO NOT respond to messages. That they browsed ur topic is at least kind isn't it. Secondly this is about panic and anxiety, but I don't know how your story relates? ANyway the moderator will intervene if needed.
If it is you keep distance to not be hurt again, not sure that is anxiousity, just avoidance behaviour. ANyway.

nhunter, it's difficult for people to leave advice I think because your situation is quite complex psychologically. You need advice but many of our visitors here would be hard pushed to get you to adhere to what they say. Do you actually experience panic attacks or anxiety because of this? That we can help you with. If you want some practical, life coaching style advice, Jenny in our center is a qualified life coach and psychologist and can be reached at enquiries@panic-anxiety.com

In my opinion, apart from any actaul anxiety you may experience, you need to change your environment, get a fresh start, even if this requires some pretty substantial life changing decisions. You deserve better than what that bloke did to you and that has to start with you.

Charles