Can anyone help my son?

Hi

I wonder if anyone can help me, my son is 9 years old and has started suffering from anxiety. He was once a confident, bright child very happy in life. He has suffered panic attacks at school and now finds it difficult to go there. He seems obsessed with death and the feeling of something terrible is going to happen to him or myself. he hates himself and just wants to sleep. I am so worried about him, our gp has referred him to a child pycologist which could take weeks to get an appointment. I feel so helpless. This has only started happening since Christmas and nothing significant has happened to trigger this off. The only thing I can think of is maybe its the tsunami disaster as he watched it on the news and has done work at school about it. Can someone help please, I would be most grateful foe some positive feedback. thanks

Hello.. I am sorry I do not know your name.. But My name is Mike
I am so sory to ear of your Son suffering.. My Son has also gone through a couple of those Phases.. and they are phases..I have suffered anxiety and panick attacks for the last 33 years.. But I manage to lead a near normal life..Back to your Son.. you will find it is a passing phase.. and the more you fuss about it in front of Him will make it worse..Be patient and it will pass.. I am sure you are thinking.. It ok for Him to say.. but you mark My words.. it could be anything that triggeed it off.. and you will find it will cease just as fast . I hope this is of help to you if you need to talk more Please feel Free to email me at ( pedtec@hotmail.com ) Mike

Hi, my name is joy. I feels so saddened to hear about your son and my heart goes out to you. I have suffered from panic attacks for about four years now and it has been the most terrifying chapter in my life so I can imagine how you are feeling having to watch your son go through this. Panic attacks do make you feel something is seriously wrong with you and that you feel you are going to die. I strongly recommend that you take your son to see a counsellor. I had counselling for my panic attacks and it helped me so much to understand what was happening to me and why. Something must of happened to your son to trigger them off, so talking this over with your son, and finding out what your son is maybe troubled about would be a good start. I could write forever to you to try and help you and your son but it would take forever so if you need to talk please e-mail at joyful235512837@aol.com and i would be more than happy to talk to you. Good luck

I have read, and am not sure what to say. Because it's about children and because I don't want to sound overly simple.

The best thing as a parent to do, I think, is to not focus on any of his anxiety related sympthoms, thoughts or sensations. You can know that they are there, you can be aware of how he feels and you can show that you realize how this is. But do not dwell on it too much.

The more you worry, the more you reinforce the situation, and his believe that something has changed, and that mom now also is unhappy and scared or worried. All this attention towards what he is experiencing, is giving that situation attention and all that a person focuses on, becomes how he thinks and feels.

Now how to help him, could be to tell him that he knows how it is to feel happy, and that he also feels how it is to not be happy and to be scared. And that within every person lays the power, to chose for how he wants to feel and what he wants to think. Even dying, just before you die and even during, you control what you think. Nothing or nobody can touch your thoughts, only YOU can think them, and only YOU can think something.
He should not give anything that he does not feel happy about, any attention. And on top of that, his mom and dad and everyone loves him.
So nothing bad IS going to happen, and IF there is, then even if he or you or all of you are alive or dead, love cannot and is never killed, not even by scary feelings.

Even if some people are nasty or angry or unfriendly towards him or anyone he knows, it's just because these people don't realize they actually love him. People all want the same thing, and that is TO BE HAPPY. There is no need to worry, if something really bad happens you probably couldn't help it anyway, and if you're still alive after that, you will ALWAYS manage, you will ALWAYS find a way to have a life again.

And that he has or has had panick attacks at school, just shows him he has feelings, both positive ones that he wishes for, and negative ones that he doesn't like and that give bodily sensations. But there is no need to be SCARED of the ones that make you feel unwell, because you won't ever die of just those sympthoms! And if other people attach any judgement to his situation, in the wrong way, it's because they don't realize that a person can also be anxious, apart from only laughably happy.

He's capable and he'll manage. And he choses what he wishes to think and focus on, how he likes to feel. And he's got a mom that can read the alphabet and type, that was able to raise him and coped with all his mischief and if you manage THAT, then SURELY nothing bad is gonna happen to anyone like that!

Greetings, Peter.

The most important thing to remember is that anxiety disorder is caused by deep seated habit, programmed into the amygdala, the organ in the brain responsible for controlling the anxioety mechanism. Ok, something has triggered this, maybe environment, maybe a trauma, maybe exposure to another anxiety sufferer, however, it is certain that this 'behaviour' is now habitual, instinctual if you like.

There is only one sure fire solution to this; that is to undermine the behaviour. Start by enthusing about an activity that would normally interest your son, then encourage him to try it. take him out of the house as much as possible, divert his attention away from himself, do everything you can to fill his days with activity. This will help to undermine the anxious habit.

This is a good start. I have many child clients and one thing I can say before, which was already mentioned in this forum string - this is transient, it will get better. I had this kind of anxiety at a similar age, it was never treated and it developed into more, however, you can help nip this in the bud now by preventing it from blossoming.

Take care.

Charles
www.panic-anxiety.com
www.thelindenmethod.co.uk

The real Charles? Amazing. I bought ur method actually, still seeing what my negative thoughts are and how I empower my anxiety, as I can't seem to make it worse, or maybe I can but try to avoid that at all costs.

Greetings, Peter.

Another post from Charles! wow thats great.

It really does hit home when you see a child hit by anxiety. It really shows that anyone aged 8 to 80 can be hit by anxiety. It really does sadden me but you must understand that your son can be helped. PM me and maybe i can advise you on the best possible course of action.

Kate