Sorry for being down but I really feel like I can't cope anymore. I'm bursting into floods of tears for no reason, my hands keep going numb. I didn't go to work Friday as I had a PA as I set out and the same happened on Saturday. I tried to go in later and it happened again but far far worse. I'm on a final warning so I;m gonna lose my job over this but haven't got the courage to tell the boss why it is happening.
TBH I haven't got the guts to tell anyone! I know what started it all but I feel that I really want to tell someone but if I do then its real and I can't keep it locked away anymore because the Police will be involved etc. Does that sound mad? It does to me!
This is stupid I'm in floods of tears again just typing this. Why me? What have I ever done thats so wrong? I just want it to end. I didn't ask for this to happen!
Pasiphae
24-09-06, 07:59 AM
Awww sweetie, you are having a rough time of it aren't you. You must go and see your doc asap..I know its hard to face the idea of admiting you feel like this but they can help. They can also sign you off work for a wee while while you get yourself straightened out and you boss cannot do anything about it if you got a doc certicificate (I believe). I wish I had more I could say to help you but I'm sure the others will have some practical advice, I'm in much the same state at the mo, just feel like sobbing my heart out constantly so I can understand how hard it is.
Just hang on in there, noone is going to think any less of you for asking for help and you cannot keep struggling by yourself.
Take care babe, you can get through this
Love 'n' hugs
Pas xx
Thank you so much for your replies on the board and PM/ e-mail. One particular message that I got via PM has meant a lot to me and has given me a lot of strength. I have replied personally and won't say who it was but I can't thank them enough.
I am making an apointment with my Doctor first thing in the morning; I don't want to feel like this anymore and if I've managed to admit to the WWW that I have a problem then telling him should be easy, I'll take a box of tissues as I think I'm gonna need them :) (I must be feeling better I've found the smilie thingies!)
One person that e-mailed me guessed the root of my problems (you probably all did just he was brave enough to tell me) and gave me a phone number where I spoke to someone that understood and has made me really think. I finally realise that I have two "issues" and that although there is a major impact on on e by the other I have to deal with them separately.
The understanding, advice, friendship and love on this board is so much appreciated. I have decided that I am going to get better; I'm not going to let this beat me and somewhere on here I read someone saying something like "this is just my brain playing with my body" and when I started to get the now familiar feelings whilst in a large crowded shop today I kept saying this over and over and over to myself and I carried on shopping! Yesterday I would have run out of the store.
Hugs to all; may everyone on here have a better day today than they had yesterday and keep helping others the way you have helped me. I'm sorry if this sounds soppy; I suppose I'm just dealing with how I feel, but knowing I'm not alone is the best feeling ever :D
