Everyday is a battle

Hi, new to the forum but not to panic/anxiety attacks, and would like other peoples opinion as to where i'm going wrong on my recovery as i've been plagued by this for the last 6 years (I'm 31 )and despite counselling with groups/1 on 1 and been on medication ( Citalopram ) my gp's assure's that its anxiety and not something major (which i still today believe it is)

My attacks happen out of the blue,whether trying to relax or work. I know when its comeing as i can feel it coming on..it usually starts with dizziness and the odd sharp twinge in my chest followed by accelerated heartbeat. This action automatically everytime makes me feel for my pulse to see if i'm still alive (i kid you not) as it feels like at that moment i'm having a heart attack. Sometimes i get this sensation/pain shoot up my left side of arm which makes me worry more as these are classic heart attack symptoms. As i panic more even though i'm trying my best not to by distracting myself with my work or other things it seems like hours for it to pass by,and when it does it makes me feel physically exhausted..

I've had MRI Scan,Lots of ECG's (whilst having panic attack ) ,blood tests both in the past&Present and everything says im ok apart from my cholestrol which only recently has become a little high,but that is prob due to my eating lifestyle&cigarettes...

What advice can you offer me as Every time i get a pain in the chest/arm ( which is virtually every day for reasons i dont know ) i PANIC and i think i'm gonna die.

I cant understand why my mind is easily tricked into these attacks,will i ever recover and if so how do i go about it as like i've said i've tried for the last 6 years to no avail and i dont feel like going back on the meds as that aint the answer!
Somehow i've got to untrick my mind!!

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

:) Rene

Hi Rene

Some of the things you say in your post do sound ridiculous to anyone who doesn't suffer from anxiety, but become normal behaviour to the thousands of people who do (myself included).

I too have been assured many times by a GP that my symptoms (chest pains, confusion, weakness and lethargy) are a result of anxiety and I, like you, still suspect that there is a more sinister physical reason for them. I have sought second opinions from other doctors and I have read countless accounts from people who suffer similar fears but does it sink in? It certainly does not. In my mind I have had Lung Cancer, Brain Cancer, Bowel Cancer, Leukaemia, Heart Disease, Kidney Failure... the list could go on. I even convince myself sometimes that I am HIV positive which - considering my agoraphobia and the fact that I rarely leave my house or interact with anybody other than my family - is virtually impossible!

I too start to feel my pulse when I feel that my heart is stopping despite knowing that if my heart had stopped, I would be in no fit state to be feeling my own pulse.

I have panic attacks daily and I am acutely agoraphobic so, if nothing else, you can be assured that you are not alone in what you experience.

There is one thought that I try to keep in my mind when I'm having a panic attack and I do find it reassuring sometimes - "OK, I feel like I'm going to die, but if I didn't it wouldn't be a panic attack. If they weren't scary, people wouldn't mind having them." I don't know if this makes any sense to you.

Have you spoken to your doctor about the possibility of switching from citalopram to escitalopram? Escitalopram is similar in that it is an SSRI anti-depressant but it is thought to be more effective against anxiety and with less unpleasant side-effects. You may ask why you should listen to my recommendation of this drug when I am still suffering but (for reasons I won't go into) I haven't been able to get this treatment for over a year now.

I strongly agree with your unwillingness to treat your anxiety with drugs and I see this as papering over the cracks but, if used wisely, they can give you a little lift that you may need to get yourself back into more helpful behaviour (regular exercise, active socialising, restoring your ego, etc)

I'm afraid I can't offer a definitive answer as I, like you, have been suffering for a number of years now but I know that we are all different and we react very differently to different treatments so keep looking for something that suits you.

I hope this helps
Chris

hi
my name is daniel and ive had anxiety and depression for about six months.Ive bin and seen five different doctors and have had a blood test and a heart trace and everything has come back fine but i still think im going to die.
I feel like im going to die because i feel like im going to collapse and feel really drowsey all the time but im not as anxious as i used to be but when i was anxious breathless and restless i didnt feel as unsteady as i do now.
Im scared of going asleep coz i think i wont wake up im also scared of doing excersise because i think my heart might just stop in other words have heart attack.t is really frustrating and scary for me because ive got everyone telling me its just anxiety and depression but i really think its something life threating and i feel i just gonna have to wait for it to come .
Here are some of the symptoms i have everyday
feeling breathless,dizzy,unreal,going to black out,feel unsteady, slight pain in chest and left arm, and fast heart rate but only when i have panic attack

hi daniel
i also have the symptoms you are describing and i totally understand where you are coming from. I know this can be a scary time and you have got to try and remember its anxiety you have. i know its hard because no matter how many times im told i have anxiety i always think i have a serious ilness that the doctors havnt diagnosed. i constantly worry about my health all the time which is why i have the symptoms you describe. the feeling of feeling unreal is one which i have a lot but recently i read an article on DEREALISATION and DEPERSONALISATION and what i read really did make sense. for once in my life something made sense because before i read about this i could not put into words this strange feeling. maybe you should take a look and put your mind at rest :)
i have also had pain in my chest and it was so bad i started hyperventilating and my arms and lips went tingly and i went to hospital and had an ecg but everything was normal then i had another 2 days later and had another ecg but again that was normal thank god.
it is only this last few days that i have realised it was probably a panic attack.
for 2 years i was on antidepressents but finally i have a doctor that realises it isnt depression but anxiety.
all the symptoms you have mentioned i have had at sometime or another and all the symptoms you describe are symptoms of anxiety.
i know its hard and i hope this helps you a little
good luck and take care
kitkat:)

Hi Rene,

I can't speak from personal experience of your kind of panic attacks, as mine is more about not being able to breath and swallow properly. This though can then sometimes escalates to me thinking that I am going to stop breathing in my sleep. But what I have realised is that it's the continious cycle of negativity that fuels the adrenaline rush that makes you panic more.
The way I see my problem is that I have tick with my tongue, but sometimes it can become a full blown panic attack with tingly fingers and heart racing. These extreme symptoms are rare for me now. My stomach still drops now and then when I think something is going to happen. I have learnt to know when my tongue gets twichy keep a bottle of water to sip to tell my brain i'm doing something normal or take myself ( maybe in to a quiet room ) out of the momentary situation and allow my brain the peace to settle down. My tick has now been semi-incorporated into who i am and by doing this it has taken the edge off, instead of waiting for a full blown attack panic. I think by owning your specific anxieties and phobias you will slowly give less fuel to the negative cycle.
What I have noticed about the People who have helped me, even though their phobias were completely different to mine, have all said the same thing: that in the end you can take the drugs, but it is you who has to face your phobia by going through it, to more or less take it on. There is no real quick fix, just a journey of getting know who you are and dealing with each day as it comes. It does suprisingly make you stronger in other areas of you life, when you are no longer afraid to tackle things head on.

Hope this helps a bit you are definately not alone!!:)

hi kit kat
Its Daniel
Did you feel like you were going to die or think you were because ive got a weard feeling in my head that im going to shut down and its making me really drowsey and weak and its hard to think its just anxiety because when my anxiety was worse than it is now i never felt like i do now

hi daniel
i do feel drowsy and weak sometimes and i think im going to die. I think its all down to the anxiety. I find it hard to believe my symptoms are just anxiety aswell and many other people also think this aswell. i also find it hard to concentrate at times and my theory about this is its because im worrying so much about my health i cant really concentrate on anything else.
People who have anxiety have different symptoms but they all worry the same.
i know its hard to just say that its anxiety because if i have an headache i think the worst where somebody else might take a paracetomol and forget, i cant i just worry even more. i do understand what you are going through and if you ever need to talk you can always email me.
i hope i have answered a few of your questions and put your mind at rest

kitkat :)

hi kit kat
its daniel i feel breathless and my heart is pounding but im not panicking i keep holding my pulse and and i get some weard andrenilan feeling in my stomach like you do when you go on a fast ride that dips and when that adrenilan feeling comes my pulse stops and then about 3 seconds later when it goes my pulse starts again i dont no what it is ive never felt this way before, i just think im going to die, i thought i was improving a little but this has made my anxiety if it is anxety more stronger, its like the more i try and think positive about good things the more terrible things come like this has now. it just makes me think whats the point in trying to get rid of it when bad things like this happen when i do. and if you dont mind me asking i just want to know what do you do to take your mind of the horrible thoughts and feelings and how do i email you do you mean like on msn

hi daniel
to mail me you can click on my name kitkat and a drop down list will appear just click send message:)

i have horrible thoughts everyday and its mainly about my health. i imagine bad things happening and imagine i have something horrible that the doctors havnt realised. i know this might sound stupid but to me i live this everyday and its a nightmare.
the thoughts can come to me anytime of the day and are there nearly all the time,but they are a lot worse if im not doing anything so now if i get these thoughts and start feeling all panicky and like im going to faint or something i try to do something to take my mind off the situation, i mostly feel worse at night and because i dont like going out on my own in crowded places this is the ideal time for me to go for a walk with my 2 dogs when its quiet and i find walking helps to take my mind off things.
im not saying it takes my mind of my worries totaly but i do feel a lot calmer. also if im in my house and start to feel like this i will start to tidy up or do a puzzle etc just to try and occupy my mind and stop me from worrying. this is probably why i can never sit still and relax but id rather be on the go than sit still and worry even more because if i do i find myself getting angry and upset. when you start to feel worried try doing something you enjoy to take your mind off the situation and you might find it helps you a little.
let me know how it goes and take care
kitkat :)

I'm 29 years old i have the same symptoms chest pains rapid heart beat dizziness wierd sensations on the left side of my body, i feel as though i'm having the big one too! i really don't have any advice because i recently started having panic attacks about 2 months ago. But its good to know i'm not alone. So you just hang in there someone will help us!