continuing/lasting recovery

Hello, hope everyone is ok. Bit of a long post but please bare with me. About 6months ago i started getting real bad and i mean BAD anxiety which deeply affected me. Over the next few months i have been working hard myself and also have been taking citalopram which has helped me immensely, it really has. I have been taking 20mg for around 2 months now and feel much better than i did a few months ago. I have also been having appointments with a cpn although that doesn't really seem to have helped that much lo.l I would say i'm maybe 85-90% myself again most days i feel pretty much fine. My question is a troubling one.. How do you move on so to speak after suffering from anxiety?? How do you forget the bad experiences you had and stop it affecting your continued recovery and future? it is something that i believe is causing the last remaining few symtoms i occasionally suffer (albeit much milder than before still uncomfortable none the less). I keep thinking what if the anxiety comes back when i go to university or when i'm on holiday it just scares me and makes me live defensively. I am also concerned that as soon as i come off citalopram the anxiety will come back ( even though i feel reasonably good at the moment). I have tried discussing these concerns with the cpn but he seems to just shrug them off. They may seem stupid too him but to me they are real fears and unless one has suffered this wretched condition they cannot possibly understand. I just keep thinking about what happened and am afraid it could never go away and affect me forever:(

Anyway,i just thought i would ask
Take care,
Chris

Hi Chris

I have been taking escitalopram, which is very similar to citalopram, for about 13 months now and last week I did a really silly thing - I stopped taking the drug for a week because I wanted to know how I would feel without it - and the answer is awful!

I'd forgotten how bad the anxiety can get and I guess when you are taking the tablets and you feel a bit anxious, you forget what it's like to be really anxious.

Your question about how to move on is an interesting one and I believe you have to use the relief that the drug gives you to get back into normal habits and try to make your anxious habits a distant memory. Yes you will still remember the anxious times but there's a difference between remembering them and re-living them all the time.

I suppose it's like learning about triangles in your maths classes. You learn about it and get the hang of it but then you leave school and never use it so it's not so significant. That doesn't mean you don't know anything about it, you just never think about it so it's less prominent in your mind.

Anyway, I wish you all the best. Keep us posted about how you get on.

Chris

Hi, Chris.. I think i'm on the road to recovery too AND have very similiar worries BUT am not taking meds. I feel i'm at a stage similiar to how i was before panic/anxiety disorder. I'd have limits but would be able to function in regular day-to-day activitys, the limits being things that i wasn't too sure of and would be apprehensive about. I've always been an anxious guy so my limits were never far away. Heading into town was never a good experience, meeting new people was akward, eating in public, etc. So, anxiety was always there in the background and as i've progressed i've revisited these places and truely recognise that now.

I still however have doubts. I still believe theres an outside chance i may go 'mad'. I still can't picture being 'normal' again having never really considered myself (from mid-teens) normal anyway. I still panic when I think about horrible thoughts knowing full well that everybody has these thoughts at some point... i'm getting worked up.


What do you think maybe the next step for you?

Hi Booby

You have to keep in mind that even people without anxiety problems have limitations and you don't have to be Superman to lead a normal life.

People get stage-fright, people are scared of spiders and people are just naturally shy and introverted. If you feel better then rejoice in that and don't keep looking at the negatives.

Good luck

Chris

Hi bp, you sound a little like me :rolleyes: .I have always been a slightly anxious person (kind of seems to run in the family) but it never really affected me in day to day life. Sure i would get a bit anxious about meeting new people and a little nervous about new things but i feel that was fairly normal. I still have a fear that anxiety could cause a serious mental illness. I'm back at college now and feel fine except when i'm stressed lol but still have some of the fears mentioned in my earlier post in the back of my mind. I'm not really sure what the next step for me is i suppose trying to put all of those irrational fears that lurk in the back of my mind to bed. Lately i have had literally a month and a half where i was pretty much fine and then i seem to have the odd day still where i get a bit of anxiety which really frustrates me:mad: . I suppose i will have to just be patient hopefully i will get to a stage where i don't get it. I dont feel i am too far away from that.

Take care,
Chris.

Hi Chris44 and all - I`m sure the best way of recovery is to focus on the positive: the good days, and the times we`ve pushed ourselves just a little bit extra harder and really achieved something.

That way there are good thoughts to draw on - yep, it can be difficult but gets easier with practice. Honest! Good luck.

Badger, how are you now?

A

Hi Amanda

I'm not bad thanks. I feel like my anxiety has reached a bit of a plateau. I'm still going to the pub and out in my car but I still feel a lot of limitations. I don't think trying to kick the medication helped.

How are you?

Chris x

Hi Amanda, yes i suppose you are right i have come a long way since this started, maybe i should just focus on the positives. Chris, do you think you will ever be in a position to come off the escitalopram?? I don't like the thought of having to be on it indefinately :( . I always thought you were supposed to cut down gradually.

Regards,
Chris.

Hi Chris

Yes you are right, you are supposed to cut down gradually but I'm an impatient sod and I hate the thought of being dependant on them so I threw caution to the wind and paid the price.

One day, when I've worked out how to beat anxiety, I will come off them and I'll tell you all how to get better and we'll all be happy :)

Chris

Chris,


I have been on citalopram for 10 months now. It took 10 weeks to kick in to full effect and I'm not thinking of coming off it until I have completed some CBT sessions and am confident that I have the skills I need to beat this on my own.

It's very tempting to want to come off of the tablets but I think it would be unwise.
A normal first course would be 6 months so I would aim for that if I were you. While your on them see if you can get some coping mechanisms and skills and see how you feel when you get there.

Remember at 2 months you are have only just got to full effectiveness.

You sound like you are on the right track now actually! You're working on yourself and using the citalopram to help support you while you work on getting this better for the future.


Well done and good luck!

Dusk