MermaidGirl
22-09-07, 07:32 AM
Hey all,
I often wonder why the Goddess decided to bless me with musical talent, but also saddle me with panic attacks, which make it difficult for me to deal with crowds, confined spaces, bright lights, and excessive noise, which often can't be avoided in the performing-arts world. At first it made me angry, but then I started asking myself, "Would I give up my musical ability to stop having panic attacks?" At first, I thought "maybe," because I can also write and paint, but then I realized that music is so much of who I am that giving up music would hurt me as badly as sawing off a limb.......so, my answer is no, I wouldn't give up my music to be "normal." Instead, I use coping mechanisms to get around the anxiety-inducing parts of what I do, in order to avoid having to make that agonizing choice. I've never taken medication, although I might have to start soon......it'll definitely be a last resort, though. But, I'm just wondering, for everyone here, what do you really love about yourselves, that makes you feel special, and makes you happy, and gives you a reason to wake up in the morning, even on the worst days? Now, would you give up that one thing you love, in order to get rid of the one thing you hate, i.e. anxiety?
I often wonder why the Goddess decided to bless me with musical talent, but also saddle me with panic attacks, which make it difficult for me to deal with crowds, confined spaces, bright lights, and excessive noise, which often can't be avoided in the performing-arts world. At first it made me angry, but then I started asking myself, "Would I give up my musical ability to stop having panic attacks?" At first, I thought "maybe," because I can also write and paint, but then I realized that music is so much of who I am that giving up music would hurt me as badly as sawing off a limb.......so, my answer is no, I wouldn't give up my music to be "normal." Instead, I use coping mechanisms to get around the anxiety-inducing parts of what I do, in order to avoid having to make that agonizing choice. I've never taken medication, although I might have to start soon......it'll definitely be a last resort, though. But, I'm just wondering, for everyone here, what do you really love about yourselves, that makes you feel special, and makes you happy, and gives you a reason to wake up in the morning, even on the worst days? Now, would you give up that one thing you love, in order to get rid of the one thing you hate, i.e. anxiety?
