Extreme Behaviour Change

Hi everyone,

I'm posting on here to ask for help regarding my partners mum.
She has been suffering from panic attacks for 12 months now. During this time her daughter and her daughters partner turned their backs on her and her husband hasn't been much help so she has told us, so it has been up to myself, my partner and our young daughter to be there for her when she needed help and support.

Recently she has had an extreme change in personality, we are now at the end of threats, name calling, and taunting. Her entire world revolves around a bloke she has been talking to on the internet, she puts this person before her granddaughter, as we found out a couple of weeks back when we asked if she would like to babysit and she told us no, because it meant she wouldn't be able to speak to this bloke on the internet!

My partners mum has started drinking heavily again, we have had to ring the police and ask for a crime reference number as we have been receiving harrassing calls and have had to change our number. She has laid into me threatening me, name calling and even deciding to have a go at our daughter, who is only 15 months, and start calling her slow and saying she has learning difficulties.

Without meaning to cause offence to anyone on here, has anyone suffered such erratic behaviour as a result of panic attacks?? We are extremely worried about her behaviour, it is affecting our lives, mine in particular, when I am home alone with my daughter and I am receiving threatening phone calls from her, it puts me in such a state.

Has anyone got any suggestions as to what we do?? Is this part of panic attacks?? Why is she only being nasty towards me, my partner and our daughter when all we have tried to do is help her!?

Thanks.

Hello there...

This sounds rather extreme. I've suffered anxiety for three, going on four years and i've had my extremes but never once have I lashed out in the way you describe your partners mum. You might have to start thinking of other causes/reasons for her behavior because this doesn't really sound like the actions of someone who suffers 'panic attacks'.

Hope this was helpful.

Hi,
Thanks for your reply, it has been helpful.

Unfortunately things have gone from bad to worse regarding my partners mother. Her 'panic attacks' have become almost non-existant now she has cut off all contact with us, she didn't used to be able to even drive to our house, which is 5 minutes away from her, now she is driving everywhere, able to stay overnight at peoples houses, partying and drinking. My partner asked her how she can suddenly go out, far away from home without any panic, her reply was that she is a good actress...this makes no sense to us at all, how can she 'act' not having a panic attack??:confused: ....

Only yesterday, myself and my partner were at the end of yet more verbal abuse from her, she was drunk at midday, and moping around because she had lost her online friend yet again-some friend if he keeps blocking her!!
She has told us she has no regrets over all she has put us through and that losing this bloke from the internet means more to her than losing her son, (my partner,) me and our daughter!!:(

I don't know if a sudden recovery from panic attacks can actually occur?? But we tend to think that she was attention seeking and exaggerating her 'panic attacks' for a sympathy vote from us, even her best friend believes this!

..you only need read this once to notice theres a drink problem here. I have discovered alcohol can relieve symtoms to the point where there is no problem with anxiety at all. Only when the effects wear off do the symtoms return.

Perhaps she is using drink in social situations and whilst driving around even!

I can only say from experience what i think but i haven't got the answers unfortunately. Try whatever it takes to get her back to some sort of normality. Luckily for me i live with my parents so thats my anchor to reality... like i say i can only suggest things.

Anyone else???

One theory we have heard (my boyfriend has suffered from anxiety and pani attacks for years) is that panic attacks and anxiety are a way of the body dealing with stress. Perhaps your partner's mum is not having the panic attacks as much now because the lashing out has replaced the attacks as an outlet for stress?

Is there any particular reasons why she may be stressed out? Is there any way of suggesting to her (without putting you and your family's safety at risk) a weekend away to relax or a councillor to talk to?