Old_Anonymous_Members
23-02-06, 07:46 AM
I have had panic disorder since the age of 9. I am now 46. I have had periods in my life that seemed "normal", and others that seemed like I would never be normal again. The symptoms change sometimes, but the negative thoughts are always there. The constant "checking" of my bodily symptoms is always there. The obsession that I have a horrible disease is always there.
I have to say that during PMS time, my symptoms are completely unmanageable. I am on a very low dose of xanax and a beta blocker (propranolol). I know that to some extent there is a hormonal connection and I truly believe that some day researchers will find that connection. When I was pregnant, I did not have one single panic attack after my third month, not ONE! One day after giving birth they were back worse than ever.
I always have a "main" symptom that I hone in on, and over the years that main symptom may change and something else will take over. For years it was dizziness, then the breathing, never had heart palpitations until my Mom was dying. All of a sudden my heart is racing over 240, and I am completely terrified. Went through the holter monitor thing, and diagnosed as PAT's, a benign condition that is not caused by a bad heart, but the tissue that surrounds the heart. It kind of "sticks".
I began having more and more tachycardia episodes, to the point that I could not do anything anymore. (I was actually housebound for a year when I was 18 and vowed I would not ever let that happen again).
Three months ago, after numerous visits to my PCP (telling me to see my shrink), I went to a Naturopathic Physician. She ran some food sensitivity testing on me, and I found that I am sensitive to sugar. She said that for me, sugar was like eating poison. She also asked me how much water I was drinking, and I said a few glasses a day. She said she wanted me to drink 80-100 oz of water a day, and adding raw organic apple cider vinegar to it (one tablespoon three times a day). The day after my visit , I gave up refined sugar. I have had only ONE episode of tachycardia since, and that was during PMS time. My resting heart rate was always between 90-110 and it is now around 80 all the time. Amazing huh? Just the fact that my regular Doctor never even thought to ask me any questions like she did, or bother to delve in any deeper.
I still have a lot of anxiety and panic attacks. Again, during that 7-10 day window of PMS it seems so out of control.
For me, it doesn't matter how many times I have done something. I might be able to do it five times, and on the sixth I can't. For me it depends a lot on how I feel when I wake up in the morning.
I will never give up trying to find answers. Nobody understands the hell that we go through. It is like "getting through" life, instead of living it. I break down and cry hysterically quite a bit, and wonder why I have to go through it. I have missed out on so much, and continue to miss out.
I cannot be a passenger in a car. I cannot go to the mountains or to the beach. I cannot go to any event without it being a major ordeal, and half the time backing out at the last moment. I can't go downtown. I can't go visit my Dad in Florida. I am the queen of excuses, and have been all my life.
OK, rambled on long enough. I wish there was one big questionairre that we could all fill out to find some common denominators. I HIGHLY suggest that everyone keep a diary or log of what you eat, and how that affects you. Also, if you go too long between meals it can affect you the same way. The water issue...PLEASE drink as much as you can. My hair was falling out at such a rapid rate. I have hair down to my waist and it was coming out so fast that I thought I was going to be bald. My Doctor's response (of course), "anxiety". Since I have been drinking so much water, my hair has COMPLETELY stopped falling out and my nails are actually growing.
I have flown many times on airplanes at different times in my life. I held down the same job in Management for 25 years. Nobody knew. I hid it well. We suffer in silence a lot, but thanks to forums like these and the internet, we know we are not alone. We have hope that some day they will find the "magic pill" or the reason that we have to go through this.
My 8 year old Son has begun to show signs. Thank goodness he can be taught to change his reaction to things at such a young age. Maybe that is the reason that I was given this, so I can help him through it and understand him.
Thanks for listening. If anyone wants to talk, my email address is
beelisette@aol.com
Take care all!
Jody
My sym
I have to say that during PMS time, my symptoms are completely unmanageable. I am on a very low dose of xanax and a beta blocker (propranolol). I know that to some extent there is a hormonal connection and I truly believe that some day researchers will find that connection. When I was pregnant, I did not have one single panic attack after my third month, not ONE! One day after giving birth they were back worse than ever.
I always have a "main" symptom that I hone in on, and over the years that main symptom may change and something else will take over. For years it was dizziness, then the breathing, never had heart palpitations until my Mom was dying. All of a sudden my heart is racing over 240, and I am completely terrified. Went through the holter monitor thing, and diagnosed as PAT's, a benign condition that is not caused by a bad heart, but the tissue that surrounds the heart. It kind of "sticks".
I began having more and more tachycardia episodes, to the point that I could not do anything anymore. (I was actually housebound for a year when I was 18 and vowed I would not ever let that happen again).
Three months ago, after numerous visits to my PCP (telling me to see my shrink), I went to a Naturopathic Physician. She ran some food sensitivity testing on me, and I found that I am sensitive to sugar. She said that for me, sugar was like eating poison. She also asked me how much water I was drinking, and I said a few glasses a day. She said she wanted me to drink 80-100 oz of water a day, and adding raw organic apple cider vinegar to it (one tablespoon three times a day). The day after my visit , I gave up refined sugar. I have had only ONE episode of tachycardia since, and that was during PMS time. My resting heart rate was always between 90-110 and it is now around 80 all the time. Amazing huh? Just the fact that my regular Doctor never even thought to ask me any questions like she did, or bother to delve in any deeper.
I still have a lot of anxiety and panic attacks. Again, during that 7-10 day window of PMS it seems so out of control.
For me, it doesn't matter how many times I have done something. I might be able to do it five times, and on the sixth I can't. For me it depends a lot on how I feel when I wake up in the morning.
I will never give up trying to find answers. Nobody understands the hell that we go through. It is like "getting through" life, instead of living it. I break down and cry hysterically quite a bit, and wonder why I have to go through it. I have missed out on so much, and continue to miss out.
I cannot be a passenger in a car. I cannot go to the mountains or to the beach. I cannot go to any event without it being a major ordeal, and half the time backing out at the last moment. I can't go downtown. I can't go visit my Dad in Florida. I am the queen of excuses, and have been all my life.
OK, rambled on long enough. I wish there was one big questionairre that we could all fill out to find some common denominators. I HIGHLY suggest that everyone keep a diary or log of what you eat, and how that affects you. Also, if you go too long between meals it can affect you the same way. The water issue...PLEASE drink as much as you can. My hair was falling out at such a rapid rate. I have hair down to my waist and it was coming out so fast that I thought I was going to be bald. My Doctor's response (of course), "anxiety". Since I have been drinking so much water, my hair has COMPLETELY stopped falling out and my nails are actually growing.
I have flown many times on airplanes at different times in my life. I held down the same job in Management for 25 years. Nobody knew. I hid it well. We suffer in silence a lot, but thanks to forums like these and the internet, we know we are not alone. We have hope that some day they will find the "magic pill" or the reason that we have to go through this.
My 8 year old Son has begun to show signs. Thank goodness he can be taught to change his reaction to things at such a young age. Maybe that is the reason that I was given this, so I can help him through it and understand him.
Thanks for listening. If anyone wants to talk, my email address is
beelisette@aol.com
Take care all!
Jody
My sym
