Feeling terrible again - I can't cope

After having a couple of weeks feeling ok I am feeling worse than ever. The anxiety came on yesterday & is completely overwhelming. I have made it into work today but have been sick several times. I just can't cope with feeling like this anymore. This is the 4th episode this year. I just can't see to talk myself round. I am going back to the doctors this afternoon - although it is not my regular doctor that I am seeing. Please can someone help me. I just can't go on like this.

Chrissy is right, if you can carry on going to work, you should because it will help to take your mind away from the anxiety.

What is your anxiety based on? Is it a specific phobia, a health-anxiety problem? Do you know what might have triggered it again? Do you have a partner that can help you?

Chris x

Thanks to you both for your replies.
I have had anxiety / depression on & off for for the past 6/7 years. I think the anxiety came on very slowly over the years but then became out of control whilst I was on holiday in 2001. I have been on various medication for 6 years. I have had CBT (on the NHS), EFT, Reflexology, Reiki & other private counselling but still these feelings come back.
In the past year alone I had 6 "episodes" that always seem to me to come out of nowhere. One of these "episodes" was when I was on holiday in the most amazing place - completely illogical & it ended up ruining most of the holiday. The 6th & most recent "episode" started yesterday. I have been feeling extremely anxious and have the usual physical symptoms – feeling & being sick, upset stomach, heart racing, tingly arms, feeling weak and shakey, disturbed sleep & low appetite. As to what has triggered this "episode" it could be a number of things. We were looking into booking a holiday for September & there are also major redundancies about to be announced at work.
The usual pattern it follows is that the anxiety kicks in first & then the feeling low & overwhelmed starts. I am lucky in that I have a very supportive boyfriend & friends / family but I just hate feeling like this. I keep telling myself that as it has before it will pass but while it is here it is so hard. It is not as if I fear dying or anything. I know that the feelings are anxiety but I just cannot talk myself round. I'm not always necessarily worrying about anything consciously. The feelings just seem to come from nowhere.
I wake up ridiculously early feeling so anxious, I have no appetite & everything I do is a struggle. I don't enjoy things & I just have this overwhelming feeling of hopelessness. I just wish I could be like everyone else & just feel content & happy.
I was in the process of withdrawing my medication (venlafaxine) due to having high blood pressure. However I amunsure as to how effective my medication is as I would have "episodes" even when on it. I have also been having NHS counselling sessions – one a fortnight for about 30 minutes which is basically just working through booklets.
I am going back to the doctors this afternoon but I don't really know what else they can do for me.
Sorry to go on so long. Thanks for listening.

Hi Kellys

If you take a look at my website (linked below) there is a page entitled "what are these symptoms". That will explain why you feel the way you do physically.

Chris

Thanks for your replies.
Am still not feeling too good but am managing to eat something now.
Have seen a private therapist this morning and am hoping that he can help me to get to the bottom of why I feel like this. I cannot see any pattern in it myself.
I understand that the feelings I have are anxiety and that there is nothing to be afraid of. I understand why I get the physical symptoms but just don't know why I have the anxiety in the first place. When it first strikes it is overwhelming and nothing that I do helps.
I worry that this is how I will be on & off for the rest of my life. I don't know how I will cope with children and the stresses in life that are sure to come my way. Up until now apart from my parents splitting up I have not had to deal with anything particularly stressful.
I have never found anything that helps me. How have other people recovered?
Thanks guys x

I did post a reply on this thread yesterday but it hasn't come through for some reason.
Thanks for your replies.
I am feeling a little better in that I am now able to eat a bit. I do understand that I am experiencing anxiety & they are just physical symptoms. My problem is that I do not know why I feel like this. There is no pattern to it & it just seems to appear out of nowhere. It hits me really hard at first and then very gradually gets better. I do come through it evetually. What I want though is for it not to come at all because it has such an effect on my life. I am afraid of going on holiday in case it happens again like it did last year. I think it must be a subconscious fear of feeling anxious that trigers it in that kind of situation.
I saw a private therapist yesterday so I am hoping that he will be able to help me. It just seems so complex though. If it was a straight forward phobia - such as confined spaces or spiders - I could see a way out but I just can't see how we are going to get to the bottom of this.
Thanks for listening x

Kellys

In my 8 years of experience with anxiety and speaking to other sufferers I have found that looking for a reason for why your anxiety started is a pretty futile exercise that is best left to psychiatrists.

Your challenge now is not to keep looking back to find out why it has affected you but to formulate a way to tackle it and move forwards.

Anxiety, although it is a complex problem, is a pretty simple concept. You are anticipating unpleasant situations with little regard for their actual likelihood of happening. With a lot of people, the fact that they had their first anxiety episode and the way they reacted to it is directly responsible for them having their second, and the combined effects of the first and second episodes are responsible for bringing on the third. These episodes have such a significant effect on your life that they soon form unhelpful habits that will then dictate not only how you act but how you think and feel.

Every episode of panic is triggered by a frightening thought (or combination of frightening thoughts) and the key to tackling them is to learn to identify these thoughts which, at the moment, might not even register in your awareness. If you were to imagine for a moment that you had never played tennis before and you suddenly found yourself playing against Roger Federer or someone similar. The chances are, they would smash the ball past you before you can even see it and react to it. Obviously if you practise every day you will get better at anticipating your opponents shots and learn to handle them. The same is true of the negative thoughts that bring on anxiety and panic. You have to strive for a situation where you can intercept a negative thought and counteract it before your subconscious mind reacts naturally to it because once the thought has triggered your subconscious panic reactions your habits take over and it is very difficult to stop the process.

Best wishes

Chris x

Hi Kelly, I am new here, and have to say...I know how your feeling, many times I have been desperate and feel like my life is slipping away from me....
You need to talk to yourself and tell yourself its Anxiety. Its not going to kill me.
Are you seeing a therapist? I have been seeing one for 3 years now, and must say if I had nt, I dont know where I would be now! Meds have there place, but you need to understand why this is happening to you...
You will be happy again it takes time, but you will. If you want too!!


You will be fine.

Celo:)