My love hate relationship with Seroxat

I'm currently on seroxat and have been for 3 years are my panic attacks got so bad I became agraphobic. Anyway much better now. After a year I slowly reduced my dose and came right off it, there was the zappy electric shock side effect of coming of it but eventually that stopped too. Everything was great for a month and then slowly the evil dark little world surrounded me once again so I went back on seroxat. I'd like to eventually come off completely, when I reduce the dose to less than half a 20mg pill my bad days start to out number the good. I've recently decided to just keep my dose at half a pill. This dosage keeps me level. I have loads of confidence and people would never know I had an anxiety disorder but I can't drop the feeling that the higher my dose the more of my true personality is being traded in. I lose apart of myself and sometimes feel like I'm taking a back seat in my own life. I don't mind being medicated for the rest of my life but not this way.

ANyone else feel the same way about Seroxat. I'd love to change my meds to something better if it was out there...

Another thing I notice as I raise my dose is the change in body shape. I eat well and excercise regularly, I don't change my diet but the higher my dose the more I put on weight around my middle, unsightly flab I just can't shift.

So yeah... there's all my drama laid out for you lot to comment on and please do. I'll be sure to check this post regularly.

I'm also open to any non med treatment or therapy or therapy group if anyone has any good info.

Cheers
J