i am new to group but not anxiety

I finally found you! I have been having anxiety attacks for many years, I am 40. I had a bad episode last year that lasted 5-6 months then they went away. Now my husband and i just moved to another state and I am completely alone here. I was babysitting for a 1 year old earlier today and had the worst attack ever. I tried to lay down with him for a nap because I was feeling kinda shakey. When I lay down my heart started pounding, i got dizzy and i threw up everywhere. When I got up I was very weak and flushed and I called a couple of friends from home. The baby's mom picked him up and now I feel ok. This is getting worse and I'm about at my wits end. I cannot afford to go to a doctor or to purchase the Linden Method. Please someone help me!

I must have done something wrong cuz it wouldn't let me use my username. I just reread my post and wow, I sound like a damn fool. I have gone through and read a lot of your posts and I guess we all have a lot in common. I usually feel ok (not great) during the day, it's after dinner that I get anxious feeling. I think part of my problem is that I'm afraid I'm going to die in my sleep. Isn't that stupid? I'm feeling like this is controlling my every thought. Last year my cousin had a friend that got up in the night to get a glass of milk for his heartburn and on the way to the kitchen he fell over dead from a heart attack. The previous year, my aunt died (in her sleep of course) from a stroke due to kidney problems on my 39th birthday of all days. No wonder I'm a nut. I just need someone to understand and maybe give me some tips. Like I said before, I don't have the money for counseling or meds or helpful books. I am so tired of living like this.

First of all, you may have a disorder, but your not a nut, I know because Im not a nut either :D , I have had panic disorder and phobia's for the past 13 years, so I know how u feel. I think one of our problems is that we all begin at some point to attribute everything to our disorder, even "normal" things that can happen to everybody without panic disorder. Such as it sounds like you were sick the other day. I often will feel more nervous for a variety of reasons, such as when I havent gotten a good balance of sleep, eating at proper intervals (to avoid hypoglycemia), physical activity, and gratifying mental activity (I like reading books and magazines). I also feel more anxious when Im ill, I think because I got so used to not feeling "right" with this disorder, so I interalize it and feel guilty even if I get normal things, such as tired or sick, and blame it all on my panic disorder, instead of realizing that some things that happen to me are normal for everybody. I hope this makes sense to you, and helps u in some way. If your problems continue, you do need to see a doctor. Call around, there are low income clinics, and they do have good doctors. Throwing up like that sounds like u had a case of flu or food poisoning. If it continues, it probably isnt due to anxiety, but something else, and u must see a doctor. Please try to take care of yourself, get enough rest, eat right, and do something physical, etc. I wish you the best, and hope u are feeling better today. Also I would like to tell u this, I did child care for many years, and I enjoyed it. Then it became overwhelming to me, I was watching one baby while my kids were at school, I was bored, house bound, and felt like crap everyday. I quit babysitting and got a part time job outside of the house instead, just up the street from my house (I applied for jobs near home, to reduce comute time) and I gotta tell u I felt so much better. Babysitting can be depressing you for many reasons. I hope I have helped u a bit.
Have a nice day!!

Jen

I really appreciated your reply. It did help especially the part about not being a nut :wink: I agree that I need to get out and find a job, the being alone all day and half the evening are driving me crazy. And since I know my anxiety disorder is just lying in wait for me to let down my guard, I try to think about all sorts of different things to keep my mind occupied and that just intensifies everything. I need to keep my body occupied and that will hopefully take care of the zillion thoughts running through my head. I am much better today. I went out and paid bills instead of sitting here on the computer doing it and went to the library and got some good books and when I got home this afternoon, your reply was here and it just topped off a good day. Thank you.......Tammi