So many questions about my new 'panic disorder'

Hello all you people obviously in the same boat as me. I'm new to this panic/anxiety thing and have a lot of questions that I need answering. I'll try not to bore you to much but this is my story.

It all started when I (I beleive) I took on a bit too much, Im 31 and last year decided to do do an MBA at uni, at the same time I got a new boss at work and because of the uni work decided that it would be better for my boyfriend of 2 years to move out of my flat to allow me more time to study (Im gay btw). THe whole boyf moving out created a lot of mistrust on his side which put pressure on me, the new boss thing put a hell of a lot of pressure on me and the uni course did the same. So at this time I was under enormous pressure in almost every aspect of my life. This was in October last year. I started suffering really bad indigestion, especially at night when I would be trying to go to sleep as I had now such a busy life. I took my indigestion symptoms to the doctor as the conventional meds avaliable over the counter were not really doing anything and so he prescribed a 2 week course of Renatedine. Although this did solve my problem in the short term, once I stopped taking them it all returned. I went back to my GP who then prescribed me Tamazepan to help me sleep and more Renantedine for the indigestion - which takes me up to Christmas. I had some major problems over the festive period. Major bouts of indigestion which I was sure wasn't actually indigestion but was heart problems as I was having very bad shooting pains in my chest over my heart area. I was also seeing coloured spots and blurred vision around once a week for about 10 mis each time. Around new year I had a few major dizzy moments after kneeling or bending down when I stood up, which really scared me. I was suffering from these really weird localised burning sensations in my legs, which only last a few seconds. So, I went back to my GP and he refered me to a psychiatrist. I have been prescribed Citalopram, starting on 10mg per day increasing to 20mg per day after 1 week, I have also been reffered for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), which Im on a waiting list for. I have been taking the Citalopram now for 2 weeks and it seems to be making me feel better.

I wonder if my use of Cannibis has contributed to my condition, I was a habitual user (5-10 spliffs per day) for about 5 years?

I wonder if my very occasional extacy use has contributed (3-4 pills per event - 1 even per month for the previous year or so)?

Or is it just down to all this sudden pressure as explained above?

I was very reluctant to take the Citalopram that I was prescribed and for 2 months after being prescribed them, rather than starting them I went about changing what I deemed to be the stressors. I quit my job and the uni course. I have a new and better one now, which I started at the beginning of April and, like I said have started to take the Citalopram and am feeling better. I haven't had any 'major' episodes, although I still suffer with occasional (3-5 times a day) indigestion.

Is this indigestion or shooting chest pains a sign of panic/anxiety?

Are the localised burning sensations also a sign of panic/anxiety?

Can I take extacy while on this Citalopram?

Can I take cannibis while on it?

Can I drink alcohol on it?

My psychiatrist told me to avoid all of the above, which I have done except for the alcohol. He says I will be on these tablets for at least 1 year and the CBT will help me deal with the symptoms, does this mean the symptoms will never go?

I am still suffering from extreme indigestion, mainly in the evenings.

Please please please can someone offer some help and advice, I have read many of the posts already on the board but none of them really answer my questions....

Sorry I forgot to metion that I'm constantly checking my pulse, I don't know why, I think because of the shooting chest pains. I'm convinced that I'm going to die from a heart attack at any moment and have had some very disturbing thought about throwing myself in front of a tube train when Im waitin on the platform. I no only imagine how I will do it but also visualise the mess it would make and the distress to other members of the public sometimes seems the only thing that stops me.

It's like my mind goes into overdrive and starts adding up symptome and sensations and coming out with escilated conclusions of iminant death or something.

I often feel like I can see myself thinking and doing these things and wonder is all this real, am I real? What would happen if? and all kinds of weird stuff goes through my head.

I must me a lunatic!

re:

I just read the rules and have registered accordingly, sorry for not doing this prior to posting my first message :?

Hey,

I can really relate to some of what you said in your post. It seems like the indigestion/heart problem thing is what's troubling you most, which I've obviously experienced but never to the extent that it really made me anxious. As I'm sure you know, many, many physical sensations/ailments can be due to anxiety/depression - certainly indigestion and the other physical things you describe in your post could be caused by your anxiety, although sometimes the knowledge that it's probably just the anxiety that's causing you to feel so crap is not enough to completely reassure you. I was so convinced that there was something really medically wrong with me because I was experiencing all these bizarre physical sensations on a daily basis, that I eventually plucked up the courage to go to the doctors to get some tests done. I was seriously amazed when all the tests came saying I was actually quite alright, which is probably the case for you.

The other part of your post I can really relate to is the whole throwing yourself infront of the tube thing! I quite often get sudden impulses like that, expecially at the train station or walking across a bridge or something. I'm quite used to it now and am able to deal with it a whole lot better, but when I first started experiencing these crazy thoughts I was terrified as I did not know what was happening to me. There's a really good book called 'Understanding Panic Attacks and Overcoming Fear' by Dr Roger Baker, which deals with intrusive thoughts and obsessive thinking, which I really strongly recommend reading if this has become much of a cause of concern for you.

The cannabis use could certainly have contributed to your anxiety. I think the majority of people are fine on it, if they're sensible with how much they have. but I've seen some people seriously get their heads screwed up because of it, and I would strongly recommend an already anxious brain to lay off it!

It's better to lay off the alcohol as well if you're taking those meds, although when I was on seroxat and st john's wort at a different time, I still drank, sometimes far too much, which I REALLY paid for regarding my anxiety levels the following day. I wouldn't advise going on a massive binge but drinking in moderation, maximum three glasses of wine a day, is alright, I think.

Hope some of this is helpful!

Thanks for the rading tip and empathy Caleb...

Keep it coming folks

Everything you have said is very typical of the letters I receive every day from yopung and not so young people who have experimented with drugs such as those you mention. Sure, they may have been the catalyst for your anxiety condition, but they aren't the cause. They caused your amygdala to become reset at a higher baseline level of anxiety and it's up to you now to reduce it back down again. It's 100% behavioural Marky, there is nothing mentally or physically wrong with you I can assure you of that.

Every symptom you mention is very typical of anxiety disorders and absolutely nothing to worry about, of that I assure you.

Charles