bad at present

Well i thought I'd beaten the old anxiety monster ,I've been off meds since oct 2006 and have been doing great.However this last week or two have proved me wrong,but and I'm hoping I'm right with this,only due to a back problem. I've been going back and forth to my gp for about 18 months complaining of a 'hooked up' feeling and burning in my lower back .Saw a consultant in Sept 2006 had a laparoscopy in dec 2006,nothing found other than impacted bowel.Pain took a jump up 10 notches last month.Back to gp who then thought ibs as i keep getting constipated so gave me meds for that and pain killers(which incidentally help create constipation ..duh ! ).Back last thursday and this time more blood tests.Pain now getting me anxious,panic attacks last friday as i tried desperately to tell myself i wasn't dying! Weekend spent getting rid of adrenaline and trying to grab some sanity along with energy.Pain immense,went to work today only to have to come home after feeling sick at my comp due to pain.So now I'm checking my pulse,my temp,breathing deep and slow and trying so very hard to not let mr anxious overtake me.Back to docs today and ...at long last..he pressed my back in two places I shot through the roof and tears fell on the floor..tomorrow i have an xray of my lower back ! I went to the loo , looked in the mirror and smiled , I wasnt imagining or going mad and and at last someone had said that all the giddiness ,the viral type symptoms ,the faster pulse was down to my back..!! thank you doc.
So I'm hoping my anxiety does not need meds again and has only returned due to the worry of what the hell what was up with me ! ...I am also booked into see my 'therapist again though , just to check ..and if , if ...well we'll cross that bridge when we get there :)

sorry its long ..I needed to get this out...thanks
best wishes
jan:)

Sorry you are going through this, I know what its like to me in pain, I have been in pain in my side for seven months. Been to many, many doc, nothing,, I am going back tomorrow. I always think the worst. It dont matter what the pain is, I always think its something big. I hope they find what is wrong with you, that will make it alot better.
Good luck I hope you are feeling better tomorrow.

:) thanks louwho...had better days anxiety is proving a right pain at moment,almost got doc to put me back on meds,but we decided to hang in there a bit..its just so tiring and makes muscle aches so not good for back pain lol which i think is sciatica will know thursday.

god i'm so very tired of battling this anxiety,its like i've had all my tools stolen..all i can think of for the thoughts now is 'stop'

hope others are feeling ok
happy easter all