Getting married has set off my panic again

I hav suffered from panic for six years now and out of those six had agoraphobis for two. I learnt how to control it but now my world seems to be caving inaround me and i am putting my fiance through hell. I have called this wedding off for times in the past week and am starting to get depressed again. I dont know what to do and am starting to lose hope...

Please dont cancel your wedding I to suffer from Panic attacks and Agorophobia I didnt think I would make it up the Aisle but on the day of the wedding I just wanted everything 2 go smoothly and it did and after wards I was able to travel 500 miles on my honeymoon,last year on the 3rd of April my family were trying to get me to go out in preparation for my sons christening on the 4th I would not go I didnt think I would make it to the christening but I did and I had a fantastic day I just regret that i didnt keep continuing to go out but dont cancel your wedding and wait and see you will have a fantastic day without Panic I wish you and your fiance a very happy future together and you will do it Love will conquer all :D

It is a comfort to know that there is someone else out there who experiences the same emotions. I am freaking out that i am going to pass out or get sick at the alter. No matter how much i try to convince myself that everything is going to be okay, i cant help but feeling that things are going to go wrong. I can not talk to the people around me as they do not understand anything about panic. How can you confide in those who do not believe you. I dont want it to seem that I am making a big deal out of this, but i am battling to do this on my own. My mother in law is also pushing me to get a job and she does not understand that i am uncomfortable with being around people, never mind a public place. I hate having this and just wish my life could have been differant or things would just get better. But anyway, thankyou so much for replying to my message.It meant a lot to me...

Hi, the anxious mind is always looking for worst case scenarios (I stole that one from CharlesL on the forum haha, but I agree), meaning that WHATEVER your specific fear is, it is your creative mind, projecting its anxiety on THAT specific thing or things, and starts seeking problems, worst case scenarios, contigencies.

One of the major components in most anxiety related conditions/disorders, I think is the fact that we need a way to "get out". Whether this is escaping from the dreaded social situations, from the square we are in, *OR* the marriage we are going to be in! You are scared of being BOUND, is what I think. You fear that you are ALREADY not in a good shape and that marrying will alter your state permanently, and that you are not sure you'll come out as 'you' again on the other end!

But it *will* be you. And you *will* be able to make all decisions you need and want for yourself. If you are not against marriage and you want to marry truely, DO IT! Don't hold back, you'll solve this anxiety problem later!

(I just read your reply to the other message, and it seems you are scared you won't "perform" well during marriage like fainting etc. So what, u love him, just faint :) )

I bet your husband-to-be looks at you as a beautiful flower, and can't always see what it is you worry so much about! But if he wants to marry you, then that means he sees the spark, the nice parts of you being you, he knows what you're like and loves it! He can look past your anxious being, because in fact they are just habits and thoughts, that CAN be unlearnt and that CAN be undone. So marry him!

Also, I'm saying this a lot, but if there is ANY material that can help you, then I have found it to be the sincere LINDEN METHOD! THis is very supportive material. YOU will have to do the work, but you'll do it with a totally different insight in your situation and you can head for a SOLUTION.

I have it, I'm not cured yet, but I have found it worth the money already!

Greetings, Peter.

When I got married I had a really bad panic attack!
All day one if you will:-) Thinking about it now I should have ran off.
Later on that year I was prescribed a beta blocker (10 mg) very low dosage to control the physiological factors-sure I would still panic during high pressure things but it helped me to be calmer, more relaxed and more in control.

Peter is absolutely correct in what he says. If you allow the anxiety to master your decisions, it will learn that this is what it is employed to do!! Don't allow anxiety to do that.You will be fine on your wedding day, in fact, you will be more than fine... you will enjoy every second. Anxiety isn't about fear.. it's about the SENSATION of fear... there' a very big difference.

Charles

Thanks for all the replys, things seem to be going a bit better, I have been put on all this medication to calm me down. I think another fear of mine is that my fiance deserves someone better. I am so scared that once we are married I am going to do something to screw it up. I am not a very trusting person and good things generally do not happen to me. I know I can trust my fiance but i have had so much bad stuff happen to me in the past that i feel I am going to screw this up to. I dont know if this is the kind of thing i can talk about here, so i am a bit reluctant to write.
:?

I got a panic attack on my wedding day a year ago and I could have prevented it because I was just fine walking down the isle but then I started to worry about fainting and other negative things and I eneded up getting a panic attack...my advice to you is not to worry about anything because this will only make things worse...If I wouldn't have been thinking negative things i know I wouldn't have gotten that panic atatck and everything could have felt better....Hope everything goes perfect for you! :D