AnnieR
12-03-07, 12:09 PM
Hi, I am just new to the forum and not quite sure of how to use it. I have posted a post elsewhere but seem to have lost it. I have from a very early age worried continually. It started by worrying about my dad, who is heavy drinker. Its like an obsession. If he was ten minutes home from work I was terrified, thinking he had died. I have recently read someting andthink I have codependency personality disorder. I lie in bed and worry continually, what if someone takes my 3 year old son, what if someone leaves the gate open and the dog gets out. My husband describes me as a drama queen and he is right but God Ihate it.
The worst thing in the world happened recently, my dad, now aged 87 was taken nto hospital. He woke up one day and didn't even know his name. He was in for a month and is now home but I am convinced he has cancer. (Something I saw on his medical notes) My friends say - ask the doctor - but I c an't I am so terrifed. I think I am a freak. When I used to visit my dad in hospital I would vomit before I went in in case the doctors would tell me bad news.
When I used to visit my parents I used to send my 14 year old son in and say I had to go to the shops. then when he came out I would quiz him, how was granda, did he eat anything, was he in bed etc etc etc. Now the thing I have feared most in my life is on my doorstep. I am a Christian and know everyone has to die, but my dad, oh God I cant cope, what if he has got cancer, how will I get through it. I am on antidepresants and have been of work for a month. I wish I had never been born, this is totally ruiing my life.
The worst thing in the world happened recently, my dad, now aged 87 was taken nto hospital. He woke up one day and didn't even know his name. He was in for a month and is now home but I am convinced he has cancer. (Something I saw on his medical notes) My friends say - ask the doctor - but I c an't I am so terrifed. I think I am a freak. When I used to visit my dad in hospital I would vomit before I went in in case the doctors would tell me bad news.
When I used to visit my parents I used to send my 14 year old son in and say I had to go to the shops. then when he came out I would quiz him, how was granda, did he eat anything, was he in bed etc etc etc. Now the thing I have feared most in my life is on my doorstep. I am a Christian and know everyone has to die, but my dad, oh God I cant cope, what if he has got cancer, how will I get through it. I am on antidepresants and have been of work for a month. I wish I had never been born, this is totally ruiing my life.
