good days/bad days

Hi everyone
It feels so good to find this site, to find like minded people that make me realise I'm not going mad.
As my title says I have good days and bad days, most of my anxiety is health related. On a good day a small twinge will be just that, but on a bad day it's a heart attack, brain anurism, aortic anurism, perforated ulcer, take your pick depending on where the pain is. With me it's mostly heart related, if it's a pain in the jaw or a pain in the shoulder I'm very good at making it into the begining of a heart attack or heart failure. For the last few months I've had the missed heart beat thing, I know it's anxiety because I recently went about 2 weeks without it happening, then as soon as I realised I'd not had one for a while it was there!!! It's worse at night-time just as I'm dropping off to sleep, and then the sleepless night cycle starts. I work in a primary school, and there is always something happening, so there are lot's of distractions, and I find that even if I start getting panicy I can quickly distract myself and then 5 minutes later I notice that it's gone, and I congratulate myself:rolleyes: Sometimes when I'm really bad I do think it would be easier if I died then I would'nt have live with the fear of dying, which doesn't make sense to people without anxiety, but I'm sure a lot of you can relate to. I also find that my anxiety seems to co-inside with my menstrual cycle, and as I'm getting to THAT age now thin gs have increased for me. Also when I was younger I would tell myself that it could'nt be anything serious because I was too young to have heart problems etc, but now as I get older that's another mantra I can't use anymore.

Sorry to ramble on, I look forward to reading your thoughts .

Thanks Jimsmum xx

Hello,
Do not worry. I am a recovering anxiety/phobia/ocd addict. I call it that because that is exactly what it is. A really bad habit.

I am looking for something to immerse myself in, like a hobby to take my mind off of it. Problem is, I really don't know what kind of hobby I would like to do. I find that I have associated my job with negative thoughts/behaviors. However, I have found that distraction works best along with understanding that I am not alone in this world spiritually or humanely and this cannot and will not harm me any longer. I actually was supposed to have a therapist appt this week and am looking to cancel it. I do not want them feeding the worry and have seen that this is exactly what they have done. They fed it by telling me I was OCD and could suffer from somatization disorder (that is what anxiety actually is).
Talk about some scary words. First thing they wanted me to do was take pills or st. johns wort to eliminate the symptoms, but doesn't eliminate the thoughts or obsessive thinking.
The Linden Method makes perfect sense of this!

Hey, I found a hobby that I never knew even existed. Learning medieval music. There are still music notes from that era and instruments created that you can buy, and CDs made up so you can put yourself into the place of a medieval person & listen to the music they listened to. It's fascinating. Some good music to. I'm sure with effort you can find something that fascinates you too Donna to keep your mind off things.

Thanks Chris V.
That is a good idea. It's funny I actually used to play a musical instrument.
I also am noticing that I am really wanting to help other people with this disorder. It fuels me to keep going. I am afraid though that it will also make me keep thinking about what is going on with me inside since I tend to really over think and over worry things.

But.... thank you again. It gives me food for thought!