death anxiety obsession

hi all. i really need some help i'm 19 yrs old and for the past year I have a very extreme fear of death. I am contemplating at the moment about going to the doctor to see if i should go on some anti depressants for it. My fear is of the unknown and when i think about death i think how can an after life be real when the world is made it up of billions and billions of minature organisms, creatures and animals, how can an afterlife be real??? wot is eternal??? if we die and we go to heaven will that be forever... does forever even exist???? me biggest fear is dying and thats it - i'm gone. I lay awake at night crying and I'm even afraid to go to sleep sometimes incase i die. it probably sounds ridiculous but it terrifies me. I suffer really badly with anxiety attacks too and sometimes think about every breath i'm taking - thinking that if i don't remind myself to breath i will die or something. it makes me so anxious and i hyperventilate. this is ruining my life I don't know what to do anymore I feel so depressed and scared at the thought of dying. I know everyone has some fears about the after life but mine are obsessional to say the least, does anyone know of any help i could seek out and are there any others who share my fears??
look forward to hearing from you all, littledivs xxx

Hey I've experienced the same thing as you!Although I think what I've realised is that for me it was more a fear of not being in control - and that I didn't want to die before i had achieved what I wanted to achieve. Dunno if ne of this makes any sense.

I got a lot better after I met my boyfriend who I been with for nearly 5 years now- as I suddenly felt the happiest that I had been in my life and it wouldn't matter so much now. The problem that I seem to have now is that when I think I have the stupid fear of dying when I panic I think he has to be there if it happens. Dammit it's really hard to describe!!!

I think it helps a lot if you realise why you are actually having this fear or maybe put it down to like a previous experience.

thanks for the reply tasha. your phobia seems different to mine, my fear is not dying or dying early without living a fulfilling life it is of death itself and what happens after we die. i looked it up and it is called thanatophobia. otherwise i would not class myself as depressed, i am half way through a degree in Nursing, i think perhaps due to the fact i care dying patients and performing last offices to patients who have passed doesn't help. I have been with my boyfriend for 2yrs he has been brilliant but keeps pushing me to go and see the doctor, but i can't see it will do any good because he can't answer my questions, i fear ill live with this phobia forever and die full of terror and fear or even worse die alone and faced with a black wall and nothing in front of me - i'll just be gone. how can a soul be real and go to heaven when the body isn't alive. it just repeats in my mind over and over again. how can heaven be eternal... is there ever an end??? oh god i am rambling on but there are just so many questions i need answering and the fact i'll know that i can never find the answers makes it all worse

Hi Littledivs

Firstly, you will not stop breathing just because you don't think about it - it's impossible. Your breathing is an autonomic process controlled by your unconscious mind, just like your blood flow, body temperature, balance, that kind of thing. These things would continue, unassisted by your conscious mind, even if you were knocked out (not the balance thing obviously). You don't need to be aware of them for them to work.

Secondly, don't think that you're doing something wrong by being afraid. These are frightening things that you talk about because we have little or no understanding of them. The thing is, most people don't worry as much as you do about them because they don't feel the need to. If I was told tomorrow that I'd got a new job as the boss of British Airways, I'd shit myself because I haven't got a clue what goes on there - but I don't worry about that in everyday life because I don't have to.

Are you religious (you mention your soul and heaven in your post)? If so, why not visit your local church and ask the vicar some of your questions?

Maybe you should try to set aside an hour of each day for worrying. That way, when a distressing thought crosses your mind, you can say "OK, I'll worry about that later in the allotted time". It's hard I know but it might be worth a try.

Best of luck

Chris x

In my case I had to stop watching the news because it's mostly doom & gloom & death & destruction.

I think we all born with a barrier that tells that horrible things ie. disease, injuries just happen to other people.

In my case that barrier got taken away & my subconsious was constantly telling me that something horrible was definitely going to happen to me.

I'm 32 and I've been constantly telling myself 'no, I'm not going to die, I'm going to live a long & happy life & die of old age'.

To fully get over anxiety you really do have to throw yourself back into life & stop running away from things. It's very painful & scary I know, I'm finally coming through it. You have to let your anxiety levels hit the roof.


I think religion is good. We all need faith, and believe that there is life after death. Having a belief & actually constantly believing it can really help keep us going.

I am brand new to this site and, like most of you, have a horrible fear of death. It started when I was about 30 and has continued to this day. It hits me when I least expect it and envelops me like a wet blanket that I cannot seem to just throw off. There are times when I have to bite my lip for fear of crying out in the middle of a crowded mall or at my work station. Which, if I did, would scare the crap out of anyone around me. I am a Christian and do attend church and even teach a sunday school class. I am embarrassed by my fear. I scare my wife when I get my panic attacks. They don't last more than 5 or 10 minutes but they feel like they go on forever. I do try and occupy myself with other things but at the same time cannot seem to completely get my mind off of it. I fear that there is nothing after this life. So much so that I am embarrassed and feel like I am questioning my faith and worse feel like I have no business trying to teach little kids about God when I feel my own faith is lacking. I do understand how most of you feel and am glad that there is somewhere that I can toss out my feelings and know that I am not alone.
:(