What to do??!!

Hi,

I need a bit of advice and dont know if im being silly, but not knowing the right thing to do. Before the panic attacks, i had been suffering from depression for a while, a great amount of stress from my job and hae lost a lot of weight as a result. My family are all very concerned and my Mum keeps urging me to talk to the doctor and get signed off work for a bit, so i can go home and relax, stress free, away from my job, my home, my day to day life. But im not sure if this would be a good idea, would it maybe make the attacks worse?i mean at the moment, work is a 'safe place' for me, but im worried if i take time out, i will be anxious about going back! My job is very stressful and am wondering if it is causing a lot of whats going on at the moment.

Any advice???


Thanks, Cara

Dear Cara

I sympathise with you on this. I'm a lot older than you and can only speak
for myself.

I own my business and in the 30 years I've been there, although it has been
highly stressful, at times it has saved me. When I have been there, feeling
so highly anxious in general, I go to work and involve myself there, I
can feel half 'normal'. It is my daily routine, I'm in control there and I
feel far better than being at home and thinking about myself all day.

When I was your age, I tried to do everything at work, run round, say
'yes' to everything asked of me - that's no good. If people at work realise
you're having a bad time, perhaps you should slow down a bit, make
excuses and not put so much pressure on yourself. Take time out at
work just to take deep breaths and 'cool down'. Try and work out
a timetable of things you need to do during the day, in order, and
organise your mind.

I am no expert and I don't know how exactly you are, but in my opinion that's
a better solution. Once you've 'given up' work and become the'invalide', the low confidence you already have in yourself becomes lower. You have time to think only of yourself all day (which I did once) and when in a anxiety state is definitely not a good thing.

As I said, try and slow down at work if that is where you feel your
'comfort zone' is. On the other hand, if your workplace is a nightmare for
you all the time and you feel 'isolated' there, perhaps then you need to
find another job.

Hope this helps and good luck.

Gill R.

Hi Cara

I agree with Gill. As long as you feel that you can go to work, you should. It is very hard to get back into the working mindset once you feel that you have been forced out of it.

Also, there's a saying that goes "The devil makes work for idle hands". This is also true of anxiety and an idle mind.

Chris x

I'm in total agreement with what's already been said! I've been out of work for ages now and the longer I'm unemployed, the worse I get. Wen you're at home alone all day you just sit there and think about your problems over and over. You tend to stay in all day because everyone else is working/busy so you dont have anywhere to go and if you're on benefits you have no money to go out anyway, trust me! I personally find that my confidence is rock bottom not working because I dont do anything with my time, I never have anything to show for my day if that makes sense.

Anyway I dont want to push my own experiences on you but it sounds like you know wat you want. If you still get enjoyment from your job and you're not having trouble getting to work despite your anxiety then I think it's a bad idea to give it up. Maybe you could just take a few days off, like a long weekend rather than take sick leave? Or depending on how much you trust your boss and how understanding they are, maybe you could have a work with them about your problems and see if you can have a little help with your workload until you're back on your feet? Only you know how you feel about your job and how much it effects your anxiety so don't be pressured into making any decisions you're not comfortable with. All the best!
Sarah

P.S. I've lost a lot of weight myself lately and am trying to put it back on. I've found that now I'm eating a bit more (and more healthily!) my anxiety and depression are both reducing. I know everyone bangs on about healthy lifestyles but it's really helping me, so it might be a good idea to look at your diet as a starting point :)

Hi,

Thanks very much for all of your replies. I understand what you are saying and it makes sense. That was my fear, taking time out and then not being able to go back. I wasnt going to leave my job, just maybe see if i can get some time off to chill out and take a deep breath, i feel like i never have time to breathe, like there is no break from the stress, whether its at home or work. I dont particularly like my job, and was planning on looking for a new one this year, but since my anxiety got so bad, i dont feel comfortable starting somewhere new. I feel a bit trapped!

I have talked to my manager at work about whats going on and she was very supportive and said that if there was anything they could do, just to say. My job doesnt have a certain amount of tasks to be done each day, it relies on work coming in, that has to be done. I do feel that i take on too much though and have recently got a bit better with saying 'no'.

In regards to my weight, i find it hard to eat when stressed, but i have realised that if i eat one good meal a day, then its better than nothing, this has helped and i have put a bit back on!

Cara

Hi Cara

Just a note about eating:

If you believe the biochemical theories behind anxiety, it revolves principally around an imbalance of serotonin - the same thing that causes migraines.

Irregular eating pattern is one of the things that is cited as a trigger for migraines and I know from my own anxiety that disturbing eating or sleeping patterns makes me feel like crap.

On this basis, perhaps you'd be better having three small meals than one daily meal.

Just a thought...

Chris x

Hi Cara

Have to say that I agree with Chris about eating. Trouble is, if you eat just
one big meal a day, there will be a chance that your stomach might not
like so much in one go and then nothing for some time. Throughout my many years of anxiety etc., even if I just couldn't face anything, I tried to eat just a
little thing and as often as possible, say a banana (good for anxiety and
rich in potassium), then perhaps a slice of bread (not too much bread, that's not good), even a glass of milk which is a food. If you can't take proper meals all day Complan is a really good alternative and is full of vitamins. They come in
different flavours.

Also, try and keep off the caffeine, say tea and coffee, try and drink water
if possible, it does help.

One last thing, try and find that 'comfort zone' at work, where you can
'cool down', even if if it's in the loo. Take the deep breaths and when
you feel a bit better you can face the stresses outside again!

Good luck!

Gill R.